Bryce Dallas Howard's The New Lindsay Lohan
Bryce Dallas 'My dad directed Ransom' Howard is in talks to replace the departed Lindsay Lohan in The Loss Of A Teardrop Diamond, a Tennesee Williams adaptation set to be filmed later this year. The story of a rebellious socialite who wants to leave her high-society life and run off with a farm boy will also star the acerific trio of Chris Evans (no, not that one), Ellen Burstyn and David Strathairn. In replacing Lohan we are assured that Howard will not be contractually obliged to get sozzled on any day ending with Y, nor air her lady garden in public.
Grindhouse Real Fake Trailer
The temptation was just too much. Having made a fake trailer for a movie called Machete, starring Danny Trejo, to separate the Grind House double-bill Robert Rodriguez has decided to make it into an actual real live movie. Rodriguez told visitors to industry event ShoWest that the movie, a story of a knife-wielding vigilante drenched in blood and boobies, will likely go straight to DVD.
Fox Finds Home
Picturehouse has picked up the US rights to The Fox and The Child, a fictional story from the makers of March of the Penguins. We could go into a rant about how March of the Penguins is practically fiction, but that flightless bird has waddled, we've moved on and we can't afford any more sessions with our psychiatrist. Penguins director Luc Jacquet is currently shooting the story of a young girl who follows a fox into the forest and into a whole new world. Is that world where animals fall in love, Mr Jacquet, which is not scientifically true and therefore makes a mockery of nature documentary and the resultant Oscar? IS IT?! Dammit, where's Dr Hubermeir's number? We're billing the treatment to you, Jacquet. You and your penguins.