God, whatever happened to the angry young man who, once upon a time, had such forceful and expressive opinions on the Los Angeles Police Department?
Yes, not content with inflicting the Godawful nonsense that is Are We There Yet?, and the forthcoming self-prophesying sequel Are We Done Yet? on an unsuspecting and frankly terrified general public, news reaches Empire’s ears that Mr. Ice Cube – said former angry young man in question – has signed on for another blase, spark-free and totally emasculated comedy in which he teaches kids life lessons, before – hey! – realising that he, too, has a lot to learn.
Yes, folks – steel yourselves now to avoid the forthcoming horror that is Tough Love, just announced by Dimension Films. Vaguely based on a true story of former New England Patriots defensive back (we have no idea what that is), Tebucky Jones, who forces his spoiled children to spend a summer on the mean streets of Oakland, California, before he too learns what it is to be a loving father, while Empire learns what it’s like to want to put a gun into your mouth and blow your brains out.
Of course, we could be wrong and will gladly admit it if that turns out to be the case – after all, Thomas Carter is set to direct, and he did a decent job with another true-life tale, Coach Carter, a couple of years back; while the script, from Matt Allen and Caleb Wilson, could well be a doozy. But it’s hard not to predict a tidal wave of thick, treacly sentiment and a whole bunch of lame slapstick as the redoubtable Mr. Cube gets waylaid by his young offspring.
But really, we’re a little worried about Cube in the lead role (he’s also producing). As an on-screen comedian, he’s always looked about as comfortable as an LAPD officer at an NWA concert, resorting to pulling lame faces and mugging shamelessly in an attempt to raise a laugh (insert obvious Jim Carrey gag here), so his involvement in yet another family comedy does not bode well. Then again, xXx: The Next Level was absolutely hilarious – dammit, now we’re really confused!