Return Of The Ritchie
It's fair to say that Guy Ritchie has fallen quite dramatically out of favour since his Lock Stock days, even though Revolver wasn't quite so bad as everyone said. It was bad, it just wasn't 'it ate my children' bad, as some reports would have you believe. So it makes sense that the director's headed back to his home ground. RocknRolla, which he's directing for Joel Silver's Dark Castle Entertainment, is apparently going to back in that direction. That's really all we know so far. So expect lots of people shouting about 'claret' and 'slags' and inventing new takes on rhyming slang while hitting people on bits of themselves they don't wish to be hit using implements that were not invented for the purpose of hitting.
Eurovision The Movie
We didn't watch this weekend's Eurovision Song Contest. It's not because we're all young and vibrant and have lives and stuff, but we just prefer our lack of life to come without 15 ways to rock a mullet and the aural equivalent of a piranha enema. However, we do welcome the idea of a movie based around the competition to find the least terrible song in Europe, which always somehow fails. Borat writer Dan Mazer and The History Boys producer Damian Jones are planning Eurovision: The Movie for Working Title, which will take place around the unwitting celebration of kitsch and, if the movie we're now playing in our head is accurate, will be exactly like Borat crossed with Blades of Glory and a Pan's People megamix. In short: awesome.
The Best And Worst Film Of Next Year
We don't know Duane Adler. He's probably a lovely man and always buys his mum something fragrant on Mother's Day. But as the screenwriter of Save The Last Dance and Step Up, we're not what you'd call fans. He's continuing his series of 'Nobody Understands Me And I Live In A Mildly Undesirable Part Of Town So I Am Going To Dance My Ass Off And Show You ALL' movies with Make It Happen. So far so whatever. But, oh but, the winsome Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Bobby) is playing the requisite small town girl who dreams of becoming a professional dancer, but – and here's the great bit – she winds up shaking her lady lumps in a burlesque club to make ends meet. Which basically makes this The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Doll: The Movie. Which, if you've watched ropey Sunday morning T4 shows, you'll know means both great and slutty.