29! 84! Er, 4! Hut hut hut! Home run! Bingo! Yes, readers, if you're wondering why Empire has come over all Dallas Cowboys, it's because we're delighted to report Ashton Kutcher, the finest actor of his (or, indeed, any other) generation, is in final negotiations to star in Traded, an American football comedy _with a twis_t.
The twist is that it’s also a body-swap comedy (and they never grow old), in which Kutcher plays a superstar quarterback who – chortle! – magically trades places with a 12 year-old geek. And from there, it practically writes itself - although, just in case it doesn’t, David Stem and David Weiss have been brought on to work on what we’ll optimistically refer to as ‘the screenplay’.
Kutcher, who has coasted through some of the most godawful, anodyne rom-coms (What Happens In Vegas, Guess Who, Just Married) in living memory on a combination of undeniable charm and dwindling goodwill from his stint on That ‘70s Show, can actually be a pretty skilled comedian, so there’s a chance – a chance – that he might be able to make a decent fist of this hackneyed premise.
Paramount Pictures picked up or, if you will, traded Traded from DreamWorks after the latter studio broke off from Paramount in the autumn. Brian Robbins and Mike Tollin, who produced Varsity Blues (and if that doesn’t strike the fear of God confidence into you, nothing will), will produce, along with Jason Hoffs.