Jeff Goldblum’s 22 Goldblum-iest Moments

Jeff Goldblum

by John Nugent, Ben Travis |
Updated on

With every year that passes, Jeff Goldblum continues to become more and more… Jeff Goldblum-y. The actor, fashion icon, jazz musician, documentary presenter, raconteur, sandwich lover, father, and internet sensation continues to approach his own personal singularity – the point at which he could not be more, uh, ah, oh, Jeff Goldblum. And as he continues that trajectory, we get more unique, perplexing, eccentric, and just plain funny moments of maximum Goldblum, from his screen roles, to his TV appearances, to his latest gig fronting Disney+ series The World According To Jeff Goldblum. For your viewing pleasure, here are 22 moments of Peak Goldblum. Just, be careful not to stare directly into his beam for too long – the glare can be too powerful to handle.

1. Jeff Goldblum’s Annie Hall cameo

A young Jeff Goldblum makes a brief early appearance in Woody Allen’s 1977 comic masterpiece Annie Hall. He is on screen for roughly six seconds. The only words he speaks are: “I forgot my mantra.” Who is this character? What is the mantra he has forgotten? The mystery and enigma that is Jeff Goldblum began early.

2. Jeff Goldblum laughing in Jurassic Park

Jeff Goldblum’s greatest role, surely, is as leather-jacketed mathematician Dr. Ian Malcolm in Spielberg’s dinosaur classic Jurassic Park. There are plenty of wonderful Ian Malcolm moments to choose from (“See, here I’m now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself...”) but this clip of him chuckling in a helicopter remains extremely popular on the internet, for self-evident reasons.

The laugh has even spawned a catchy remix.

3. Jeff Goldblum appearing shirtless in Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park

Another exceptional Ian Malcolm moment: after being injured by a T-Rex, Malcolm relaxes in the safety of John Hammond’s compound, shirt rakishly unfastened. The image is so searingly erotic that it has spawned an oil painting...

Jurassic Park – Jeff Goldblum art

...and even incorporated Sam Neill’s Dr. Alan Grant.

Jeff Goldblum – Jurassic Park meme

4. Jeff Goldblum singing lyrics to the theme from Jurassic Park

Did you know that John Williams' famous theme to Jurassic Park has lyrics? Jeff Goldblum knows.

5. Jeff Goldblum clarifying the correct pronunciation of ‘Goldblum’

In this sketch from Late Night With Conan O’Brien, Jeff Goldblum finally explains how to say his name.

6. Jeff Goldblum in this incredible Vine

The beauty and poetry of this requires no explanation.

7. Jeff Goldblum in a video game

Call Of Duty Black Ops 3 Zombies

Jeff Goldblum has embarked into the virtual realm, offering his voice and performance capture skills to Call of Duty: Black Ops III Zombies, playing the conjurer Nero Blackstone, and providing such perfectly Goldblumian dialogue as “this may be the most elaborate egg cup I've ever seen!”

8. Jeff Goldblum trying Marmite for the first time

Back in 2010, we put Empire readers' questions to Goldblum. One of the questions regarded his position on Marmite. Our plucky interviewer brought a jar of the black stuff for him to try. His reaction (from around the 2 minutes 20 seconds mark) is a mixture of admiration (for the label), distaste (for a particular font used), and disgust (for the substance itself).

9. Jeff Goldblum running a Knot Store

Wearing a very fetching pink-suit-and-bowtie combo, Jeff Goldblum runs a shop selling only a variety of knots in this very funny skit from hipster-skewing sketch show Portlandia.

10. Jeff Goldblum on Conan

Jeff Goldblum is a frequent guest on Conan O’Brien’s late night US talk show, and by his own admission acts up for Conan’s obvious pleasure, as we see in this prime example (“You bring it out in me! I act like I think you see me.”).

11. Jeff Goldblum’s baby sucking on his nose

In another memorable Conan appearance, Jeff Goldblum shares an adorable video of his newborn having a good old chomp on the famous Goldblum snout.

12. Jeff Goldblum playing a secret jazz set at Coachella

Attendees of the 2011 Coachella music festival in California were surprised to find Jeff Goldblum playing a low-key unadvertised jazz set near a campsite. He spent the first ten minutes playing Seven Degrees of Jeff Goldblum, for some reason. The set inspired a Funny Or Die sketch which imagined the set as the most important musical event in history.

13. Jeff Goldblum duetting with Biz Markie

Maybe the second most important musical event in history occurred when Jeff Goldblum and Biz Markie performed Just A Friend on Jimmy Fallon's late night show.

14. Jeff Goldblum as ‘Chef Goldblum’

Jeff Goldblum’s naturally surreal sense of humour proved a perfect fit for anarchic comedy duo Tim & Eric, who enlisted Goldblum to appear in their bizarre Billion Dollar Movie as ‘Chef Goldblum’, advertising the Schlaaaang Super Seat.

15. Jeff Goldblum appearing in a GE commercial

Tim & Eric also recruited Jeff Goldblum to appear in this actual commercial, for an actual GE product. Reminder: this is real.

16. Jeff Goldblum riffing in the deleted scenes of Thor: Ragnarok

You thought the moments with Jeff Goldblum’s Grandmaster that made it into Taika Waititi’s Flash Gordon-alike MCU entry were weird? There was even more oddness on the cutting room floor – including this deleted extended take that sees Goldblum and Taika regular Rachel House pinging off each other.

17. Jeff Goldblum menacing a man called Darryl

For the Thor: Ragnarok Blu-ray, Taika gave us a sequel to his ‘Team Thor’ short titled ‘Team Darryl’ – with hapless human Darryl this time finding himself in a flatshare with The Grandmaster. Wonderful, wonderful nonsense.

18. Jeff Goldblum warning the people of Taiwan about dinosaurs

Goldblum’s return to the Jurassic franchise in Fallen Kingdom was all too brief, but it did result in this short, strange gem – a piece of promotional activity in which Goldblum warns the people of Taiwan, specifically, that dinosaurs are out to get them. “Beware!” he says, before continuing with his uniquely Goldblumian inflections: “Dinosaurs are now hiding in Taiwan, somewhere!” More of this when Jurassic World: Dominion comes out, please.

19. Jeff Goldblum rap-battling James Corden

How does someone with such idiosyncratic cadence as Jeff Goldblum wrangle that into rhymes? With difficulty, by the looks of this rap battle – the man has bars, but his sense of rhythm is clearly more attuned to his freewheeling jazz band. The highlights? Goldblum ribbing James Corden over Cats (months before it even came out) and calling him “one giant bitch”.

20. Jeff Goldblum cycling in a wind tunnel

The arrival of Disney+ brings with it the first series of The World According To Jeff Goldblum – aka, Jeff Goldblum goes around being Jeff Goldblum, because everyone loves Jeff Goldblum. Ever wanted to see the man himself in spandex (“I feel… sleek as a panther”), cycling in a wind tunnel? This one’s for you.

21. Jeff Goldblum spending nearly $3000 on trainers

Goldblum’s looks are nearly as iconic as the man behind them – and he sure knows a thing or two about ‘sneakers’. Here he is telling shoe-based stories, and then dropping a considerable amount of money on matching sets of trainers for himself and his family. Cute.

22. Jeff Goldblum reading thirsty Tweets about himself

What does Jeff Goldblum sound like reading a tweet in which someone says they want his Jurassic Park character Dr. Ian Malcolm to, er, sit on their face? Let’s find out!

Essential Jeff Goldblum Movies

Find some of Jeff Goldblum’s classic roles in these films.

The Fly (1986)

The Fly

David Cronenberg’s sci-fi-horror masterpiece sees Goldblum ooze his usual charm as scientist Seth Brundle – until he then starts oozing in every other conceivable way.

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Rent on Amazon Prime Video

The Tall Guy (1989)

The Tall Guy

An early Richard Curtis effort finds Goldblum’s American actor Dexter King living in London, where he (understandably) falls for Emma Thompson.

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Jurassic Park (1993)

Jurassic Park

In which life, uh, finds a way when a big-dreaming industrialist cooks up a dinosaur park full of cloned prehistoric creatures. Come on, you’ve seen Jurassic Park.

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Rent on Amazon Prime Video

Independence Day (1996)

Independence Day

Roland Emmerich’s alien invasion mega-blockbuster sees Will Smith’s military hothead have to team up with Goldblum’s tech-savvy science guy to stave off marauding monsters from outer space.

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The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Goldblum’s Dr. Ian Malcolm takes centre stage in this sequel, unwittingly heading to ‘Site B’, Isla Sorna. More dinosaur rampaging occurs.

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The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

The Grand Budapest Hotel

After appearing in The Life Aquatic, Jeff Goldblum re-teamed with Wes Anderson as part of a vast ensemble for his whimsical comedy-drama set against the backdrop of rising fascism in the 1930s.

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Rent on Amazon Prime Video

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Thor: Ragnarok

Taika Waititi’s gloriously garish space oddity casts Goldblum as The Grandmaster – an immortal intergalactic party-loving despot, with eyeliner blue and gold paint on his face and a stick that melts people alive. Near-peak Goldblum.

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Stream now on Disney+

Hotel Artemis (2018)

Hotel Artemis

Drew Pearce’s under-seen slick crime drama gives us a different mode of Goldblum: villainous crime boss. It’s a welcome change of gear off the back of Ragnarok.

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The World According To Jeff Goldblum is streaming now on Disney+.

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