There's been a gaping hole in our lives ever since 2004. It used to be, come summer blockbuster season, that one could look out for the occasional appearance of the lesser-spotted Sommers, bringing us a big silly action film either sublime (The Mummy) or ridiculous (The Mummy Returns and, for that matter, pretty much all the rest). But rejoice, for Stephen Sommers is back back back, and he's signed on to adapt G.I. Joe into a film.
Yes, the toy that's a bit like Action Man but Americaner. Originally created for American military magazines in 1942, the character was made into a toy, and has already been spun off into comic-books and TV. But he's moved on a bit - as far as the film's concerned he's the star operative in an organisation called "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity" (check out those initials), based in Brussels but still dedicated to fighting the evil COBRA organisation, headed by a crooked Scottish arms dealer (Scottish bad guy? Awesome!). It's said to be a cross between X-Men and James Bond rather than another war movie, with lots of hi-tech gadgetry.
While the decision to move ahead with this is at least partly down to the success of Transformers, Sommers was keen to point out that that's not all there is to it. "Our vision (for "The Mummy") was clear the time the first trailer played during the Super Bowl, and by the time this one plays a Super Bowl, you'll see the coolest characters and visuals you can imagine, and beyond-state-of-the-art equipment," Sommers said. "I wouldn't have jumped into this just because of the Hasbro-Transformers tie. Remember, 'Pirates of the Caribbean was a big hit, but 'Haunted Mansion' not so much."
Wise words. Sommers' pitch to Paramount on Wednesday was apparently so good that he was hired on the spot, so let's hope that there's something in this and it's not going to be another Van Helsing. IESB is reporting that Stuart Beattie (Collateral, 30 Days of Night) has been hired to write the script, which is a good thing, and it's probably also a good thing that it's not going to be a version of the 1940s, jingo-tastic Joe.
But Brussels? No offense, Belgium: you do great waffles, and your fries with mayonaise may be the tastiest way to a heart attack on the planet, but the base of an international super-powered military unit? Not so much. Unless, of course, the entrance to their secret base is either a) hidden under the Manneken Pis or b) in the Atomium, which admittedly does look like a proper secret agent base.