For all the rain-soaked premieres, failed fund-raisers and no-show parties, there's one night of the year when you can absolutely guarantee a good turn out on the red carpet. That occasion is the Oscars and wouldn't you know it folks but tonight is that night.
Everyone (and we mean everyone) broke out their posh frocks, put some slap on and made their way down Hollywood Boulevard to the Kodak Theatre for Hollywood's most glamorous celebration and the world's most gratuitous media circus. There were cameras, limousines, venomous fashionistas spitting barbed critiques at the sartorially challenged and security guards who could void your bladder just by looking at you. But all that was just window dressing for the famous faces who, in true Oscar fashion, turned out by the bucketful.
Naomi Watts showed off her greener side, not in terms of attire but by being chauffeured up to the red carpet in a hybrid car. "It does 20 miles to the gallon or more," she declared. "We're just doing our part for the environment." Good for you Naomi. Peace, love etc.
Dapper Matt Dillon rolled out soon after looking particularly dashing in his dinner suit." I got it from a place where they rent tuxes to mariachi bands," said Dillon of his snappy attire. We suspect he was joking. At least we hope he was.
Dolly Parton was next up proving that they’re literally defrosting everyone for this year’s event. But the big-breasted one was eclipsed by the arrival of Keira Knightey, looking suspiciously ginger – at first we thought it was only a trick of the light but after corroboration from several independent witnesses, we’re assured that she has indeed gone to the ging. “It was for Pirates of the Caribbean,” she protested.
George Clooney’s arrival caused more than a few turned heads as he cruised the carpet like the cool cat he is, utterly at ease for a man not only nominated but attending his very first Oscar night. If the worst should happen and George forfeits tonight, who would he want to win in his place? “None of them because I don’t like them,” he said. “Actually you know who I really don’t like? Ang Lee.” What a kidder, eh folks? Just to be on the safe side though, someone should probably keep him away from Ang when their category comes up.
Michelle Williams turned up in a mustard-coloured abomination that made several bystanders’ eyes bleed. Luckily Heath Ledger whisked her away before any permanent retina damage could be done.
And what Oscar night would be complete without a shot of Jack Nicholson sporting his trademark Cheshire cat smirk? They didn’t even wait for an award to be up this year, broadcasting his ear-to-ear on screens as Jack emerged from his limo.
Where there’s a Will there’s a way and where there’s two… well it must be Will Smith and Will Ferrell chewing the fat outside the auditorium. Sadly we were well out of earshot so they could have been discussing the finer points of soft furnishings or plotting to assassinate the pope for all we know. “I got a tattoo for tonight,” said Farrell as he broke away from Smith and wandered over to the press area. “It’s a big dragon. I’ll show it to you later.” Er… okay Will.
“Hey yo be careful, that’s my wife. That’s my wife, man!” Will Smith looked set to lamp one reporter who complemented Jada Pinkett Smith on here evening dress - but wait, he was only joking, all is well.
Best Actress frontrunner Reese Witherspoon arrived with husband Ryan Phillippe on her arm, she waved off compliments on her performance as Walk The Line’s June Carter, pausing to address the camera and tell her daughter, watching at home, that it was almost time to go to bed.
Jessica Alba, Paul Giamatti, Ludacris, Steve Carrell, Eric Bana, Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, William H Macy, Salma Hayek, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter were just a few of the stars who swanned past just out of earshot but by this point we were out of time and the rich, the powerful and the just plain gorgeous were hustled inside as the doors closed on the 78th Annual Academy Awards. We’ll bring you more news from the night as it happens.
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