New Max Payne Trailer

Marky Mark goes berserk

New Max Payne Trailer

by Helen O'Hara |
Published on

Another day, another Max Payne trailer right here, with lots of slo-mo action and snow slowing falling and scary winged creatures and Mark Wahlberg with his best serious expression on mowing down bad guys. Or in other words, yay!

A few thoughts on this trailer:

  1. The voiceover says, "The Devil is building his army. Max Payne is looking for something that God wants to stay hidden." Does that mean Payne is not on the side of the angels? Or that God wants the Devil's army to stay hidden? That seems rather contradictory.
  1. Mila Kunis sounds more like Meg Griffin from Family Guy than usual when she's trying to sound serious. Obviously, she always sounds a *bit *like her, but not as much as this. Also, all the black eyeliner in the world can't make us look past That 70s Show and Forgetting Sarah Marshall and buy her as a toughie.
  1. We're certain that that's Olga Kuryenko, even if the cast list denies all knowledge of her. She looks to be playing the nudie European role. Again.
  1. Don't the Valkyries look a bit Constantine? Which is no bad thing, cause that film at the very least looked extremely cool. But wouldn't it have been even better if they'd had blonde braids and big bosoms?

All sarkiness aside, this looks like fun. Sign us up!

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