Hollywood, you may remake our Psychos shot for shot. You may re-tool our Rear Window for a younger generation. You may even tinker around with our Halloween's – though we will not like you for doing it, Rob Zombie. But, you may not – NOT! – touch The Karate Kid. That's like sleeping with a person's sister and then never calling her again – it's just not on.
However, in the face of all that's right and good, IGN has been informed that Sony is planning to remake the story of a young boy with the ability to do avian-inspired scissor kicks and an old man who catches flies with chopsticks.
What's really weird is that the movie is apparently set to star Will Smith's son Jaden. Wha?! He was great in Pursuit of Happyness, but he's nine. The Karate Kid can't be nine. This piece of casting has apparently come about because the film will be made under the banner of Will Smith's Overbook Entertainment. Jerry Weintraub, producer of the 1984 movie, is apparently producing this too.
Now, this is still very much a rumour, though IGN says the source is reliable, so let's not get too worried just yet. But, just to maybe nip this in the bud, please sign our petition below.
Dear Hollywood,
We the undersigned hearby request that you leave The Karate Kid the hell alone and instead give the very talented Jaden Smith something less sacreligious to do. If you do not meet our request, we will wax your cars but we will NOT rub the wax off, so that they may look cloudy and be potentially dangerous to drive.