God Bless America

Jackass makes it to number 1

by empire |
Published on

In an age where people are often thought to have forsaken high brow entertainment for baser, more illiterate-friendly diversions, it is refreshing to see the United States has not completely abandoned its classical roots. While many would rather sit and ferment in front of The Dating Game or Survivor - their IQ ticking down with the minutes of the hour - it is a joy to behold when a more cerebral form of entertainment is wholeheartedly embraced by the American public. Drawing $22.7 million dollars over the weekend and rising to the top of the US box office above many more consumer-friendly titles, Jackass: The Movie won the hearts and minds of the people and returned to cinemas an element of class that has been severely lacking in recent months. Featuring lauded thespians, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and Jason 'Wee-Man' Acuna, Jackass explored the underlying paradoxes surrounding the ontology of mankind and probed the endless riddles that plague the human condition. Among the complicated 'field tests' conducted by the Jackass scientific body, were the effects of causing havoc on a Japanese golf course while dressed as giant pandas, the art of 'horseless jousting', pain tolerance when subjected to paper cuts on the tongue and the benefits of eating a snow cone drenched in urine. The findings of such experiments will doubtless benefit mankind immeasurably and we are indebted to the protagonists for endeavouring to snort wasabi sauce, attach electrodes to their testicles and insert all manner of day-to-day objects in their anuses, all for the betterment of the human race. Just think, the (mainly) 17 to 24 year-olds who spent the weekend learning the art of sado-masochistic entertainment and some more creative uses for faeces, urine and assorted expectorations while watching this didactic production, may one day end up running the most powerful nation on Earth. Sleep well.

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