Baby Cruise Arrives

That’s it… The gigantic signal lights mounted atop the Scientology Centre on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles have flared into life*, which can mean only one thing: The Cruise child is upon us.

Yes, on Tuesday 18 April 2006, let it be known that to Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise was born a daughter, Suri. According to a press release, both mother and her seven pounds, 7seven ounces child are doing well. Her name apparently means "princess" in Hebrew or "red rose" in Persian. Weirdly enough, in Klingon it means "may your elders sneeze themselves to death".

And just how has proud new papa Cruise celebrated the birth of his first natural (we’re not going anywhere near that one) child? Why, by cancelling press engagements, of course. Now you’d expect any new father to skip a bit of work when his sproglet arrives, but a megastar worth millions will surely be causing some headaches for the M:I publicity department as he throws their schedule into chaos. Surely little Suri could have waited until the film was in cinemas? Some newborns are just so inconvenient.

*That part is a joke. Please don’t send any letters.