Trapped Review

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When their young daughter is kidnapped, a husband and wife - stuck in separate parts of the country - must somehow team up to save her from a psychotic gang of ransom merchants.


Forget that Stuart Townsend is as likely a scientist as One True Voice are pop stars. And that the drug he's supposedly pioneered is the most crass, transparent plot device in many a year. (It paralyses people - that's its sole, stupid purpose.)

Put to one side Charlize Theron's terrible, angsty mum act when their precocious git of a child is kidnapped. And even turn a blind eye to the fact that, in teaming up with Courtney Love and a fat retard, Kevin Bacon's twitching psycho has assembled a 'gang' about as sinister as Rod, Jane and Freddie.

Above all this nonsense, though, we must focus on what is an unquestionably godawful script, some truly shoddy direction and the simple realisation that not one bit of this abject codswallop makes any sense. There's suspension of disbelief, people, and then there's plain taking the piss.

This isn’t “good” in any possible permutation of the word. In fact, this is without doubt the worst film that Kevin Bacon has ever appeared in. And he was in Pyrates.