Five Review

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Five long, static shots of water. Waves lapping at a bit of driftwood. People walking along a seafront. Puppies on the shore. Ducks on the shore. Moonlight on black ripples. And that's it.


Iranian director Kiarostami might not have made the worst film in history, but it's, without a shadow of a doubt, the most tedious.

Perhaps – being generous – this collection of watery images will kick off a debate on what constitutes cinema and the role of the director. But cinema isn't defined simply by pointing a camera at something and projecting the result – the CCTV hidden in a bank autoteller could compose similar shots. There is no beauty in these images and no great insights to be gleaned from suffering a single take that might last up to 26 minutes.

Don’t be fooled by Kiarostami's past credentials. This is a joke played on gullible audiences.