Steven Seagal's Greatest Hits

Image for Steven Seagal's Greatest Hits

Our favourite Steven Seagal moments. We didn’t really need a reason. Quite frankly, we think about our favourite Steven Seagal moments most of the time. Don't you?

Nico (AKA Above The Law) (1988)

Seagal made his screen debut as the star of his own vehicle. That’s how badass he was. No climbing the ranks for him. And if we weren’t yet convinced, one of his earliest fight scenes ends with a perp running away in terror.

Hard To Kill (1990)

The last man standing on this occasion doesn’t run away soiling his drawers, but chooses to stand and fight. Foolish. Seagal sympathises, and opts to fight on his knees to make it fairer.

Marked For Death (1990)

Frustratingly few of Marked For Death’s great moments are on YouTube, so here, have the trailer and see if your personal favourite is in there. You just about get, “One thought he was invincible, the other thought he could fly. They were both wrong.” Sadly you don’t get, “If a man commit a crime against ya, he must be paid back A T’OUSAND TIMES!”

Out For Justice (1991)

The scarf/ pool ball combo and the cue battle make this a classic already, but for our money the prize moment comes towards the end when Seagal simply barks a man into a phone booth.

Under Siege (1992)

Seagal vs Tommy Lee Jones, and a decent knife fight that ends with somebody stabbed through the top of the head and bulldozed into some monitors. Clue: it isn’t Seagal. Actually that’s not the best bit in Under Siege. You know what the best bit in Under Siege is.

On Deadly Ground (1994)

Seagal directed this (ahem) personal project: an environmentally conscious actioner in which he nevertheless blows a lot of shit up. There’s a good bit where he puts John C. McGinley’s head through the prop of a Cessna, but perhaps most extraordinary is this didactic three-minute, Great Dictator-esque speech at the end. Greenpeace grudgingly endorsed the film as at least having its heart in the right place.

Executive Decision (1996)

Seagal shows up in Kurt Russell’s film to play a blow-hard asshole who immediately gets killed. The extent to which he’s in on the joke is unclear. However...

Exit Wounds (2001)

Often talked about as if he doesn’t know he’s funny, Seagal can be deliberately amusing when he wants to be. This is a prime example, to some extent at his own expense. Forced to take anger management classes, he’s made furious partly by the realisation that he’s too fat to fit in his chair. “See this face? This is a happy face!”

Belly Of The Beast (2003)

A spot of wire work and an obvious stunt double in this ludicrous marketplace melee, but also a nice moment where Seagal suddenly decides to start fighting with one arm behind his back. Just to make the point.

Out Of Reach (2004)

More On Deadly Ground-type mysticism. Having rescued his 12-year-old pen friend (no really), Seagal disappears off into the wilderness. We end on this whimsical cross-fade of a beatific Seagal and a majestic eagle.

Renegade Justice (AKA Urban Justice) (2007)

After a slew of DTV movies where Seagal was constantly dubbed and replaced by stunt doubles who looked nothing like him, it was a genuine pleasure to see him, at his most tank-like, go through a whole film with his own voice and – it looked like – his own moves. This bit's also good because he tells his attacker to “Take your lively, chubby ass and get the fuck off my car.”

Pistol Whipped (2008)

“You really think I’m gonna waste my time with you, Gweilo?” Dude very much regrets those words. Now that is a pummelling.

Kill Switch (2008)

Astonishing, almost hilariously violent moment in an otherwise terrible, all-over-the-place film. Seagal takes an assailant apart with a hammer, at quite extraordinary length; it just keeps on happening. Note the awful dubbing, not even by Seagal. “I think your arm’s broke! Ooh, there goes a rib!”

Machete (2010)

Another intentionally funny one, as Seagal notes the sword sticking out of his stomach and observes, “This ain’t shit.” Tis but a scratch!

Born To Raise Hell (2010)

There’s a great Seagal vs Darren Shahlavi fight in this film, but our favourite moment doesn’t actually quite involve Seagal at all. We include it in tribute to the clearly insane stuntmen who volunteered to be blown backwards out of a high window on fire in nothing more than some cheap DTV nonsense shot in Eastern Europe. Sadly the full sequence isn’t online as far as we can find, but you get the gist at about 01:48 in the above trailer.

Honourable mention: True Justice (2010 - )

This is from Seagal’s two-season TV series True Justice, from a flashback to his previous life as a sniper in Iraq. When Seagal commits to a role, he commits to a role. What a chameleon!

Honourable *honourable* mention – This Mountain Dew commercial

“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s me either.”