Bond’s Best One-Liners

The art of seducing the ladies, 007 style

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by Willow Green |
Published on

Famed for his use of innuendo, 007 loves to use his silver tongue on the ladies (steady). The 60s and 70s Bond films tended to be much more insinuation-heavy, and in some cases very politically incorrect by today's standards, but Pierce Brosnan brought the one-liners back in the 90s. Although Daniel Craig's serious take on the franchise has seen a step back from the quips again, these are some of Bond's best lines:

Dr. No

Miss Moneypenny: You've never taken me to dinner...

James Bond: I would, you know. Only "M" would have me court-martialed for... illegal use of government equipment.

From Russia With Love

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Tatiana: [Trying on dresses] I will wear this one in Piccadilly.

James Bond: You won't. They've just passed some new laws there.

Goldfinger

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Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.

James Bond: I must be dreaming.

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James Bond: You're a woman of many parts, Pussy!

You Only Live Twice

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Tiger Tanaka: [Bond being bathed by Tanaka's women] You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.

James Bond: Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree.

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James Bond: [James is in bed with Ling, a Chinese woman] Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

Ling: You think we better, huh?

James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.

Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

On Her Majesty`s Secret Service

Irma Bunt: [A girl writes on Bond's leg under the table, to which Bond makes an awkward face] Is anything ze matter, Sir Hilary?

James Bond: Just a slight stiffness coming on... in the shoulder.

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Diamonds Are Forever

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Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.

James Bond: But of course you are.

Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.

James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

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James Bond: Weren't you a blonde when I came in?

Tiffany Case: Could be.

James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.

Tiffany Case: Which do you prefer?

James Bond: Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match...

Live And Let Die

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Solitaire: [Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to Solitaire] Is there time before we leave, for Lesson number 3?

James Bond: [Undressing] Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked.

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Miss Caruso: [As Bond unzips Miss Caruso's dress with the magnet in his watch] Such a delicate touch.

James Bond: Sheer magnetism, darling.

The Man With The Golden Gun

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James Bond: Good morning. How's the water?

Chew Mee: Why don't you come in and find out?

James Bond: Sounds very tempting, Miss...?

Chew Mee: Chew Mee.

James Bond: Really? Well, there's only one small problem. I have no swimming trunks.

Chew Mee: Neither have I.

The Spy Who Loved Me

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Minister of Defence: Bond! What do you think you're doing?

James Bond: Keeping the British end up, sir.

For Your Eyes Only

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Front Desk Clerk: I hope you have a pleasant stay.

James Bond: [Bond eyes a beauty nearby who smiles at him] I'm, ah, sure I will.

A View To A Kill

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James Bond: Well my dear, I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.

Jenny Flex: Yes, I love an early morning ride.

James Bond: Well, I'm an early riser myself.

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Max Zorin: [The morning after Bond sleeps with May Day] You slept well?

James Bond: A little restless but I got off eventually.

GoldenEye

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Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun.

James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.

Tomorrow Never Dies

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James Bond: [Whilst being in bed with his Scandinavian language tutor] I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.

Miss Moneypenny: You always were a cunning linguist, James.

The World Is Not Enough

James Bond: [In bed with Christmas Jones] I was wrong about you.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, how so?

James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

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The Cigar Girl: Would you like to check my figures?

James Bond: Oh, I'm sure they're perfectly rounded.

Die Another Day

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Verity: I see you handle your weapon well.

James Bond: I have been known to keep my tip up.

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Jinx: Wait, don't pull it out. I'm not finished with it yet.

James Bond: See? It's a perfect fit.

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