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Golden Axe: Beast Rider Review

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★★★★

Of all the two-bit sequels lining up to shit all over your childhood memories his holiday season, Beast Rider is by far the worst.

A next gen update of the hack’n’slash classic Golden Axe – a rudimentary brawler beloved of Sega fans as it was often tipped in when you bought a Mega Drive – Beast Rider defies all odds by being accomplished than it’s 1989 progenitor: the range of attacks is cruelly limited, meaning you’ll spend most of the time hammering the same two buttons; the game environments are unfeasibly dull, in stark contrast to the original adventure’s vibrant fantasy world; and riding any of the beasts namechecked in the title is fraught with frustration, with monsters that are sluggish to control and often roll over and die at the first stab from a slobbering orc. Worst of all, though, Beast Rider is single player only, a bewildering decision on Sega’s part as a co-operative campaign was what made the 16-bit Golden Axe a fan favourite.

Utterly reprehensible on every level, this shameful rehash of a Sega classic will be one of the first games into the bargain bins during the January sales.

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