Zut Alors!

You've got to wonder what on earth is going on when the French, coiners of the 'ooh-la-la', inventors of the cancan and historic champions for all manner of naked naughtiness, plan a crackdown on porn films. Yes, you heard it right, slip those saucy Parisian lithographs back under your mattress because our beret-sporting neighbours have turned their backs on centuries of tradition and taken a hard line on fruity films. In a bid to discourage the proliferation of smutty motion pictures, the French government has announced a proposal to impose a 93% tax on the profits of all x-rated films, leaving purveyors of erotica well and truly out of pocket. This new initiative to curb French filth is the work of the recently elected, and somewhat right-wing, French majority, who walked home with a landslide victory in the June elections. "Our aim is to make this sector financially unattractive," said a parliament deputy, who insisted that the mammoth porn tax could be slapped on films as early as January next year. And don't go thinking that the rest of Europe will be able to fill this void for cheeky, late-night entertainment. Imported porn is also coming under the knife with foreign films facing a fine of 91,470 Euros if they are deemed pornographic or seen to be inciting violence - that'll be Hollywood blacklisted then. Honestly, what is the world coming to? The French are turning puritanical and, with us traditionally bottom-shy Brits softening our censoring - and Tony Blair receiving 'donations' from porn baron Richard Desmond - you've got to ask whether something isn't terribly wrong indeed. The world's gone mad we tell you. Mad!