OK, the Indiana Jones picture relates to absolutely nothing in this entry. But, in the words of people who can't pronounce words properly, today is reee-heeeaaally slow and you don't want a picture of any of the following stories. So to take you through today's round up of stuff nobody would talk about if anyone had been cast in anything even vaguely interesting, we'll start you off with a joke and if you make it all the way to the end you get the punchline. Can we say fairer than that? Yes, we could. But we're not going to.
So, Q: How many mystery movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Comicly Bookish Comic Book Heroes
Warner Bros has signed Mark Burton (Madagascar, Chicken Run) to adapt comic book Rex Libris for the big screen. What is Rex Libris, you ask? Well, it's the story of a librarian (how the other bookish types must have mocked his name) who joins a secret sect that protects the world from the forces of darkness. The sect is assisted by an ancient god who lives within the library. And is armed with some high-tech weapons. Hey, when we started writing this we thought this sounded terrible, but now it's starting to sound a little bit brilliant. Throw in an exotic beauty with eight boobs and we're there on opening weekend.
Wild Hogs Riding Again
Wild Hogs director Walt Becker is currently scouting locations for a sequel to the hit oldie-bikers movie, tentatively titled Old Hogs. Robin Williams is being sought to join John Travolta. Becker is also set to direct Link, which is sadly not the long desired big screen version of Nintendo's greenly behatted Legend of Zelda hero. It is actually the story of a paleontologist and a maverick scientists (kerazy!) who go in search of the missing link. They could probably get the hirsute Williams to perform double duty.
Baz Luhrmann's Australia To Shoot...In Australia!
We can't actually believe that there's a place called Townsville, but we're glad there is. It sounds like a made up storybook place, like Neverneverland or Trumpton or Wigan. But a real place it must be, for there is a Townsville Bulletin and it is reporting that Baz Luhrmann's new film Australia, an epic WWII drama starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman is set to shoot in Australia Point (seriously, Australia, try a little harder with the place names). The production is looking for extras who fit the descriptions of 'Chinese, Japanese, Aborigine, soldier and experienced stockmen'. Got a face and some skin of any colour? You could be a movie star!
A: Two. One to put it most of the way in and another to give it an interesting twist at the end.