Pop Fiction

It's not enough that would-be divas have their dreams shattered on national television and their hopes strangled by withering comments from Simon Cowell; last night on US television American Idol had its toughest judge yet: Mr Quentin Tarantino. We pitied the poor fools who had to demonstrate their vocal stylings before Tarantino's critical ear. The man who cuts off ears, guns down pregnant women and violates crime bosses (in his films, people) made a commitment to get medieval on various asses prior to his spot on the show. "The guest judges are the worst thing on the show and I'm going to try to 'out-mean' Simon and say what I think." And did he do just that? Sadly not. Despite undoubtedly striking terror into the contestant's hearts, QT was surprisingly light on his victims, qualifying even mild criticism with words of conciliation and hope. Given that his most biting attack manifested as "you ain't my cup of tea," we think that, frankly, the whole affair was something of a missed opportunity. Don't believe us? Well allow us to present you with an alternative version of events, the way it could have been. Click Here.