Here Be Dragons… Yet Again

Here's a joke to start the day off: what's worse than a really bad film? Three really bad films. Okay, so it's not funny but then neither was 2001's Dungeons & Dragons, nor was it exciting, or even particularly entertaining, but that didn't stop them from giving the green light to Dungeons & Dragons 2: The Elemental Might. Said travesty is purported to hit cinemas sometime next year. But it gets worse: without any consideration for the global implications or the likelihood of agonized cinemagoers eating their own elbows in despair, Dungeons & Dragons 3 has taken off as well! Bruce Payne will return once again as blue-lipsticked baddie Damodar (Jeremy Irons' lacky from the first film) in yet another tale of might and magic that will make even die hard roleplayers cast down their thirty-eight-sided dice in disgust. A little harsh, perhaps? They might have learned from the first film and the sequels could turn out to be epic fantasy tales on a par with The Lord of The Rings. We'll concede it's possible. It's also possible, however, that Empire's ninth level half-elf ranger will win that battle with the all-powerful Demogorgon at the end of Watcher's Keep. Don't hold your breath for either.