Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Search   
Empire Magazine and iPad
Follow Me on Pinterest YouTube Tumblr Viber
Empire
Trending On Empire
The Big 2015 Movie Preview
The 50 Best Films Of 2014
Review Of The Year 2014
Subscribe To Empire!
Save up to 70%
Empire
Film Studies 101
Reviews
STAR RATINGS EXPLAINED
Unmissable 5 Stars
Excellent 4 Stars
Good 3 Stars
Poor 2 Stars
Tragic 1 Star

FILM DETAILS
Certificate
15
Cast
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Penelope Ann Miller
Pamera Reed.
Directors
Ivan Reitman.
Screenwriters
Murray Salem
Herschel Weingrod
Timothy Harris.
Running Time
111 minutes

LATEST FILM REVIEWS
A Fuller Life
3 Star Empire Rating
Futuro Beach
4 Star Empire Rating
Tokyo Tribe
2 Star Empire Rating
Honeytrap
2 Star Empire Rating
Pheonix
4 Star Empire Rating



5 STAR REVIEWS
Still Alice
5 Star Empire Rating
Les Miserables
5 Star Empire Rating
Duke Of Burgundy, The
5 Star Empire Rating
Whiplash
5 Star Empire Rating
Long Good Friday, The
5 Star Empire Rating

Kindergarten Cop
Schwarzenegger in a class of his own


submit to reddit


Plot
Arnie is a cop and needs testimony of a drug scum-lord's missus, who has run away to Oregon with her kid. So Arnie goes undercover as a primary teacher to track her down through the brat. While he is romancing single parent fellow teacher Penelope Ann Miller, the pony-tailed baddie (Richard Tyson) and his monster mother (Carroll Baker) are well on their way to bring a little thuggery into the lives of the school staff and pupils.


Review
Taking time out on the action-man front between Total Recall and Terminator 2, Big Arnie now followed up his commercial success in the very bland Twins (yes, believe it or not, Twins was a hit) by re-teaming with director Ivan Reitman for another soft-centred comedy thriller.

This time around he is John Kimble an Austrian somehow working as an hard-nut for the Los Angeles Police Department, who transfers out of his macho man surroundings into a kiddie movie suburbia when he has to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher. Although the first and last thirds are a densely plotted blend of humour and thrills, Kindergarten Cop sags desperately in the middle.

The initial joke of facing the man mountain from The Terminator with the one obstacle he can’t possibly overcome — a classroom full of six-year-olds — fades almost instantly as the Macaulay Culkin-wannabe tykes proudly trot out in succession their personalised cute mannerism and Arnie miraculously but expectedly turns from gruff kid-hater to dewy-eyed super-teacher in the space of an aerobics montage.

With a heart of purest mush, Kindergarten Cop still manages to be generally entertaining, even for folk with an aversion to Aryan body builders or perky pre-teenagers, while some of the jokes are a reminder that Reitman was once a promising comic talent, and the thriller stuff benefits from a stronger-than-usual set of villains and a nicely-judged sidekick performance from Pamela Reed as Schwarzenegger’s gourmet colleague.


Verdict
As a one-off this could have inoffensively scraped by on thin charm alone. But don't forget kids, it gave rise to such monstrosities as Last Action Hero, Junior and Jingle all the Way…


Reviewed by Kim Newman

Write Your Review
To write your review please login or register.


CURRENT HIGHLIGHTS
Astonishing Movie Star Music Video Cameos
Hiccup, Rhodey and Spidey join the party

Empire's Jurassic World Covers Unveiled
You're going to hear her roar

40 Of The Unlikeliest Movie Character Posters
Would you put these one-sheets on your wall?

Who Is The Vision, Anyway?
An introduction to Avengers: Age Of Ultron's newest addition

Jenny Agutter: Role by Role
From Tin to Captain America to The Railway Children

80 Of The Best Movie Star Adverts
From Sly Stallone selling bread to Hugh Jackman dancing for iced tea

The 15 Most Controversial Alternate Endings
How some of your favourite films could have finished...

Subscribe to Empire magazine
Subscribe now and save up to 70%

Get exclusive subscriber-only covers each month!

Subscribe today

Subscribe to Empire iPad edition
Get The Empire iPad Edition Today

Subscribe and save money on annual digital subscription

Subscribe today
Buy single issues

Subscribe now and save up to 70%
Get exclusive subscriber-only covers each month Subscribe today!
Empire's Film Studies 101 Series
Everything you ever wanted to know about filmmaking but were afraid to ask...
The Empire Digital Edition
With exclusive extras, interactive features, trailers and much more! Download now
Home  |  News  |  Blogs  |  Reviews  |  Future Films  |  Features  |  Interviews  |  Images  |  Competitions  |  Forum  |  Digital Edition  |  Podcast  |  Magazine Contact Us  |  Empire FAQ  |  Subscribe To Empire  |  Register
© Bauer Consumer Media Ltd  |  Legal Info  |  Editorial Complaints  |  Privacy Policy  |  Bauer Entertainment Network
Bauer Consumer Media Ltd (company number 01176085 and registered address 1 Lincoln Court, Lincoln Road, Peterborough, England PE1 2RF)