Empire's Fast & Furious 5: Rio Heist Movie Review

Fast & Furious 5: Rio Heist
High Rock-tane action

Plot
Busted explosively out of police custody by his sister (Brewster) and best bud (Walker), Dominic Toretto (Diesel) gets to work on a heist in South America. But will crack DSS agent Luke Hobbs (Johnson) let the air out of his tyres once and for all?

Review

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How to re-ignite an ageing franchise? Drop The Rock on it. The best thing, by far, in Fast Five (aka Fast & Furious 5, aka Rio Heist, aka Who Cares As Long As Things Go Fast), Dwayne Johnson hulks through the movie leaving testosterone trails in his wake. Clad in a flak jacket and a cage-fighter’s beard, he’s the manhunter “the FBI call when they want to catch someone” (which, presumably, is quite often). His body is hard as marble, his mind as sharp as Marple’s. There is literally nothing believable about the character, least of all his Blade Runner tech, yet from the moment he juggernauts on-screen, barking, “Rule number 2: Stay the fuck out of my way!” at a shrimpy South American cop, this quinquel goes from entertainingly stupid to joyously lunk-headed. Think of it as a WWE reboot of Heat — with Vin Diesel as De Niro.

In what may or may not be a reappropriation of the script for The Brazilian Job, the aborted Italian Job sequel, the set-up has Diesel’s Toretto in Rio de Janeiro, assembling a crew for the inevitable one last job. Their plan is to jack a corrupt businessman for $100 million — a sum that, in a film this overblown, seems positively unambitious.

It requires the talents of all the old franchise ‘favourites’, from Tokyo street racer Han (Sung Kang) to mechanic Tej (Ludacris), though the film’s only street race is hastily skipped over. Don’t expect precision-built scheming: the plot is tosh. Instead, prepare for a fiesta of excess, with bikini chicks, hip-hop bangers, meat-headed brawls in warehouses and lines such as, “Nice legs. What time do they open?”

It is not, by any normal criteria, a great film. There are plenty of scenes that clunk. And at over two hours, it’s far too long. But it’s hard not to grin at the go-for-broke spirit — best illustrated by a final chase sequence, involving every police car in Brazil and a city-trashing bank vault, that nearly out-Bad-Boys-2s Bad Boys 2— which makes this fifth instalment the most entertaining in the series. Fast Five turns the dial right up to 12. Because 11 is for pussies.

Verdict

Reviewed by Nick de Semlyen

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Your Reviews

Average user rating for Fast & Furious 5: Rio Heist

best film this year!
thats a fact of all the new films ive seen this year this one is the most exciting and contains all the ingredients to my film expectations; great locations, beautiful women, tough guys, explosive action, great music, terrific special effects etc whats not to love! best of the lot! ... More


Posted by jordan thomas at 22:14, 07 January 2012 \| Report This Post



Brutal
From top to bottom, this is awful. I honestly thought the Rock would bring something to the table. I was wrong. Couldn't even finish the movie, which rarely ever happens. ... More


Posted by Turd Ferguson at 17:06, 14 December 2011 \| Report This Post



Fantastic
Again it's not perfect but if Justin Lin keeps this up then we are in for a real treat with the sixth film. ... More


Posted by the film man at 22:40, 25 October 2011 \| Report This Post



Kicks Ocean's 11 asses!
This is absolute glory, just like The Italian Job.! Not just the best in the series, but it's one of the best IMAX I have experienced! ... More


Posted by batbhai at 07:28, 26 September 2011 \| Report This Post



Great trashy fun
But still 20 minutes too long. Kinda like Oceans 11 meets Heat, written by Justin Bieber. ... More


Posted by spideed2 at 20:44, 11 September 2011 \| Report This Post



Cant believe I liked it
Terrible script, poor acting, far fetched, really liked it. fair enough, in the fast and furious world physics don't apply but it didn't do the matrix any harm. (fair enough they are in a computer generated world where they can bend the laws of physics but who says Paul walker isnt as well). I recommend having a few beers putting it on loud and not worrying too much about whether or not it would be possible to pull 20 tons of safe out of a concrete wall with a couple of cars ... More


Posted by Darkmouse at 20:58, 09 September 2011 \| Report This Post



darn good movie
wow, its like watchin one of those action movies like there used to be, fun, humour, daft stunts. in a world of bourne copies i found this hugely enjoyable. solid and well worth a watch! ... More


Posted by mclane1 at 18:55, 02 September 2011 \| Report This Post



darn good movie
wow, its like watchin one of those action movies like there used to be, fun, humour, daft stunts. in a world of bourne copies i found this hugely enjoyable. solid and well worth a watch! ... More


Posted by mclane1 at 18:55, 02 September 2011 \| Report This Post



Fast Five: Review
Fast Five is a fantastic film. It had the best story in the franchise, some of my favourite actors from the last films are in this one and the action & stunts in this film are great. The driving sequence in this film is just fantastic and the actors did probably their best performance ever in this film. I would recommend to go see this film. ... More


Posted by Edward9630 at 02:13, 08 August 2011 \| Report This Post




There’s a scene about half an hour in to Justin Lin’s Fast Five, the latest film in the car racing Fast & Furious franchise, where federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) angrily throws a clipboard to the floor as his explanation of something that “makes sense”. It’s this moment that totally sums up Fast Five: a film you can enjoy only by casting logic aside and simply surrendering to the bombastic absurdity you’re witnessing. Luckily for those of us abl... More


Posted by tinribs27 at 05:25, 30 July 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: I can't believe my eyes...it's hard to even blink!
Well Fast Six is coming out in 2013 y mate watched Fast Five over the weekend and the screening he watched was packed out. Even though he was not a fan of the franchise but he loved Fast Five and he's looking forward to Fast Six. ... More

Posted by azzman1984 at 22:31, 15 June 2011 \| Report This Post



I can't believe my eyes...it's hard to even blink!
Now this not a great action movie, but it is one of the best sequels and the best heist movie since Italian job. It is much better than the boring Ocean's Eleven! What's next, Fast Six? Hit the throttle, baby! ... More


Posted by batbhai at 09:01, 15 June 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Wow!
I didn't liked this movie. I think the story was crap, the stunts used in this was unreal and the synchronization was missing. ... More

Posted by andrewmac1 at 07:34, 14 June 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Blistering
Total garbage. The dialogue is abysmal, the acting hits a new low, seriously don't waste your money. 1 The cars they steal from the train wouldn't have any fuel. They wouldn't be able to open up the train at that speed. Paul Walker can jump onto a metal car but not the sand. 2 Jordan Brewster is pregnant and yet she can crash land through a roof and be fine. 3 They decide to take on the big baddie in Rio instead of just leaving. 4 Where did they get the bi... More

Posted by theoriginalcynic at 16:39, 11 June 2011 \| Report This Post



Blistering
Every action movie should live up to what Fast Five accomplishes here. The film is the definition of cool, loud, over the top and, most of all, it isn't afraid to show it. ... More


Posted by djphilips at 10:25, 22 May 2011 \| Report This Post



Watch Thor instead
No problems with it being dumb, but the insincerity of this series is what makes it crap. They should either make it gritty and hardcore or go the opposite way with full on parody. In-between is no good. ... More


Posted by BatSpider at 23:04, 12 May 2011 \| Report This Post



Utter nonsense
but fun too, Honestly, two cars lugging around a massive vault like it was made of aluminium? Utter nonsense. But a fast pace, car stunts and attractive totty helped me be a little forgiving. ... More


Posted by bretty at 12:32, 11 May 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Mid-credit sequence
Best action movie I've seen in years! This is how much fun the Expendables should have been. They've taken all that worked in the first four movies and mushed it together. Vin plays Dom a guy who is the best at everything except pronouncing words ending in r ( sure I remember my faddaaaa) Paul walker is very pretty and just happy to be working The rock is who Vin wants to be when he grows up. The supporting cast are all likeable and very funny and the extended c... More

Posted by blackduck at 10:45, 09 May 2011 \| Report This Post



Mid-credit sequence
I feel guilty about having enjoyed this so much. I genuinely only went to see it to kill some time, but really enjoyed. I mean, it's just an action film. Don't expect any great character development or story depth. It's just a good bank heist movie. It's fun. But the mid-credit sequence really made me angry. I felt like F&F had finally tied up all those loose ends that they kept missing since 2Fast. Then they dropped that dirty great '24' style cliffhanger on us... I felt like they should ha... More


Posted by walkef02 at 03:48, 09 May 2011 \| Report This Post




The best comedy of the year. Spent 2 hours laughing at how dumb this is and how the popcorn munching freaks were laughing it up. For that it was worth the entrance fee. Came home and watched the original which, despite being a simpleton, is like Einstein compared to this pap. ... More


Posted by blindlemonpie at 00:43, 08 May 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Wow!
I know the fast films always make money but anyone else surprised at the HUGE opening weekend this had? ... More

Posted by fugaziuk at 15:48, 06 May 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Wow!
I really enjoyed this film. I think like others have said it could have had slightly more action however. A solid 3.5/5 ... More

Posted by richnicol at 18:52, 05 May 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Wow!
I really liked this film for what it was. Check my review http://mattdamonmoviegoers.blogspot.com/ ... More

Posted by slickrick at 05:33, 05 May 2011 \| Report This Post



Wow!
Just 3 stars Empire you meanies?!!! Went to see this yesterday and it blew me clean away! It's the perfect Fast and Furious film, easily the best in the series. I was gripped from start to finish, rooting for the characters all the way - and the mid-credits twist left me gasping for more! Great stuff! ... More


Posted by RetroWizzy at 11:14, 04 May 2011 \| Report This Post



RE: Zoom Peeoow Bof Crunch Bash!
The Mid Credit sequence has got me so excited about Fast 6, just read online that Justin Lin said it's a go especially after it's box office takings this weekend! ... More


Posted by Stuntgoat at 21:25, 03 May 2011 \| Report This Post



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Fast & Furious 5: Rio HeistHigh Rock-tane action

Fast & Furious 5: Rio Heist
High Rock-tane action