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Reviews
STAR RATINGS EXPLAINED
Unmissable 5 Stars
Excellent 4 Stars
Good 3 Stars
Poor 2 Stars
Tragic 1 Star

FILM DETAILS
Certificate
18
Cast
Keira Knightley
Colin Farrell
Ray Winstone
David Thewlis
Anna Friel.
Directors
William Monahan.
Screenwriters
William Monahan.
Running Time
103 minutes

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London Boulevard
Colin Farrell's straight story


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Plot
Hardman Mitchell (Colin Farrell) gets out of prison and tries not to be lured back into crime by an old friend (Ben Chaplin) and a gang boss (Ray Winstone). He takes a job as bodyguard for a reclusive film star (Keira Knightley), but still finds it hard to go straight.


Review
London Boulevard
The trouble with Boston-born writer William Monahan’s directorial debut, based on a novel by Ken Bruen, is that there’s nothing you’ve not seen or heard before here... and some of those things you’d rather not see or hear again, like Colin Farrell’s whispery mockney accent from Cassandra’s Dream. It’s so close in tone to one recent British gangland drama it could almost be retitled Layer Cake 2, down to the mix of old-style thuggery and celebritocracy, and one or two specific turns of the plot.

The mismatched leads are not on form, as the otherwise meaningless title suggests the mix of young he-man and housebound diva will mutate into a Britpic Sunset Blvd. which never catches fire: Knightley’s paparazzi-benighted celeb is a hollow caricature, and it’s impossible to feel sorry for a whiny paranoid martyr in big black sunglasses, while Farrell just looks puzzled and earnest unless he's thumping someone or taking his own lumps.

Still, there’s value for money in the supporting cast: David Thewlis as a louche hanger-on out of Performance, Ben Chaplin as the weaselly former best friend who does everything to wheedle the hero back into trouble, Anna Friel as Farrell’s tipsy femme fatale sister, and Official National Treasure Ray Winstone as another smoothly violent, brutally genial Mr. Big. It even has a good selection of less-familiar ‘60s rock tracks and a couple of scenes which verge on deliberate black comedy.


Verdict
Guilty, with one or two mitigating circumstances.


Reviewed by Kim Newman

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Your Reviews

Average user rating for London Boulevard
Empire Star Rating

TERRIBLE

SO BADLY SCRIPTED AND ACTED....... ONE OF THE WORST I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME..... ... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by chrisdagnall at 22:02, 21 June 2011 | Report This Post


Oh Dear...

Awful Film... Do not waste any Money Watching this even when it comes on TV for free - Though it is a Master Class in Bad Editing, Story telling and how not to Make a Movie, What a Waste of some Talented Actors (Farrell's Performance in ' In Bruges' Is one of My favourite films and performances). Two Stars was a Bloody Generous rating for this film, It should come with the Samaritans Free Phone Number as you will feel so depressed you wasted your time watching this Movie. It is that bad tha... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by DickyOR at 22:26, 19 March 2011 | Report This Post


Oh Dear...

Awful Film... Do not waste any Money Watching this even when it comes on TV for free - Though it is a Master Class in Bad Editing, Story telling and how not to Make a Movie, What a Waste of some Talented Actors (Farrell's Performance in ' In Bruges' Is one of My favourite films and performances). Two Stars was a Bloody Generous rating for this film, It should come with the Samaritans Free Phone Number as you will feel so depressed you wasted your time watching this Movie. It is that bad tha... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by DickyOR at 22:26, 19 March 2011 | Report This Post


ben chaplin was amazing

i loved this film from start to finish the same as THE FIRM (the tom cruise version that is) and COLD MOUNTAIN when you watch it forget the 2 leads and keep your eyes on the supporting cast ray winstone was scary ben chaplin was electric energy out of him was deadly anna friel was stunning sexy as hell funny thewlis was doing what he does best black comedy naked mr nice my favourite part of the script one character has a habit of telling personal stories to people before he shoot... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by bill the butcher at 10:55, 05 March 2011 | Report This Post


RE: London Boulevard

Yeah, there was one on Total Films site on Friday.. although why wait til the review? I just saw the trailer and it looked bloody awful ... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by chris wootton at 09:45, 03 December 2010 | Report This Post


RE: ...

L: AWM L: nhassell L: elzupasmonkey L: nhassell Saw this on Saturday. Absoluted hated it. Would have had more fun bashing my head in to a brick wall for an hour and a half. Diabolical script (and screenplay!), terrible acting, the plot that left more things unexplained than you can shake a stick at and was all round, just totally pointless. It looked cheap, and the dialogue just annoyed me (was there any need to keep saying 'cunt' every sentence, or two?). Very bad... More

Posted by nhassell at 22:23, 02 December 2010 | Report This Post


RE: ...

L: nhassell L: elzupasmonkey L: nhassell Saw this on Saturday. Absoluted hated it. Would have had more fun bashing my head in to a brick wall for an hour and a half. Diabolical script (and screenplay!), terrible acting, the plot that left more things unexplained than you can shake a stick at and was all round, just totally pointless. It looked cheap, and the dialogue just annoyed me (was there any need to keep saying 'cunt' every sentence, or two?). Very bad film, and an... More

Posted by AWM at 21:55, 02 December 2010 | Report This Post


RE: ...

L: elzupasmonkey L: nhassell Saw this on Saturday. Absoluted hated it. Would have had more fun bashing my head in to a brick wall for an hour and a half. Diabolical script (and screenplay!), terrible acting, the plot that left more things unexplained than you can shake a stick at and was all round, just totally pointless. It looked cheap, and the dialogue just annoyed me (was there any need to keep saying 'cunt' every sentence, or two?). Very bad film, and an absolute waste of... More

Posted by adambatman82 at 00:20, 30 November 2010 | Report This Post


RE: ...

L: elzupasmonkey L: nhassell Saw this on Saturday. Absoluted hated it. Would have had more fun bashing my head in to a brick wall for an hour and a half. Diabolical script (and screenplay!), terrible acting, the plot that left more things unexplained than you can shake a stick at and was all round, just totally pointless. It looked cheap, and the dialogue just annoyed me (was there any need to keep saying 'cunt' every sentence, or two?). Very bad film, and an absolute waste of mo... More

Posted by nhassell at 21:28, 29 November 2010 | Report This Post


RE: ...

L: nhassell Saw this on Saturday. Absoluted hated it. Would have had more fun bashing my head in to a brick wall for an hour and a half. Diabolical script (and screenplay!), terrible acting, the plot that left more things unexplained than you can shake a stick at and was all round, just totally pointless. It looked cheap, and the dialogue just annoyed me (was there any need to keep saying 'cunt' every sentence, or two?). Very bad film, and an absolute waste of money. aybe if Empire h... More

Posted by elzupasmonkey at 21:19, 29 November 2010 | Report This Post


RE: ...

Saw this on Saturday. Absoluted hated it. Would have had more fun bashing my head in to a brick wall for an hour and a half. Diabolical script (and screenplay!), terrible acting, the plot that left more things unexplained than you can shake a stick at and was all round, just totally pointless. It looked cheap, and the dialogue just annoyed me (was there any need to keep saying 'cunt' every sentence, or two?). Very bad film, and an absolute waste of money. ... More

Posted by nhassell at 19:14, 29 November 2010 | Report This Post


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