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STAR RATINGS EXPLAINED
5 Stars Classic
4 Stars Excellent
3 Stars Good
2 Stars Fair
1 Star Tragic

POSTER ART
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FILM DETAILS
Certificate
TBC
Cast
Shia LaBeouf
Megan Fox
Josh Duhamel
Tyrese Gibson
John Turturro
Isabel Lucas
Rainn Wilson.
Directors
Michael Bay.
Screenwriters
Alex Kurtzman
Roberto Orci
Ehren Kruger.
Running Time
150 minutes


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Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (TBC)

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Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen
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Plot
Autobots and the US military have united to form NEST, an elite unit dedicated to wiping out Decepticons. But when they catch a rogue ‘bot in Shanghai, it warns that something very bad is heading for Earth: a diabolical entity known as ‘The Fallen’.

Review
A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act of Transformers 2. A robot-on-robot fracas is unfolding around Egypt’s Giza Necropolis, with Devastator, an especially massive mechanoid comprised of several construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to the peak of a pyramid. As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot tilts up to its mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling down. Yes, Michael Bay, the man who brought us cyber-micturition in this movie’s predecessor, has one-upped himself: Decepticon testicles.

If the thought of that gag makes you laugh, chances are you’ll have a ball with Revenge Of The Fallen. If not… well, Bay really doesn’t care. His first and only sequel since Bad Boys 2 is, like that film, marked by swaggering confidence, wild excess and a string of bad-taste jokes. Dogs hump each other, robots hump human legs and the camera spends so much time ogling Megan Fox’s torso you start to wonder if it’s being operated by a 13 year-old boy. There are now 42 robots, including one that looks like a jaguar, one that can turn into ball bearings to access high-security areas and one in the form of a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

It all looks good on paper, as does the added-value 150-minute run time. But it’s a case of same meal, bigger portion, with the flaws of the first not only present but accentuated. You’ll be even more hard pressed at the end of this one to remember which robot’s which — there are three or four new Gremlin-esque ones that chitter and skitter about like the first movie’s Frenzy — and few get more than a scene before Bay’s attention flits elsewhere. Even the Fallen, an Emperor figure to Megatron’s Darth Vader, who can hurl tanks around with the aid of his jagged staff, is only blandly nefarious.

The plot, meanwhile, is as baffling as before, not only bringing back the abstruse Allspark but throwing in a new MacGuffin called the ‘Matrix of Leadership’. It tries harder to be funny but is actually less so, despite Shia LaBeouf working some early new-kid-on-campus schtick, Rainn Wilson amusing in a single scene as a rock-star astronomy teacher, and John Turturro doing an entertaining reprise of MIB wannabe Simmons (“What you’re about to see is top secret: do not tell my mother”). This is a film that doesn’t know where to stop — even comic-relief characters get their own comic-relief characters, like the offensively irritating Twins, who bicker in hip-hop slang, or Wheels, a turncoat Decepticon who for some reason talks like a ‘30s screen gangster.

What saves it, just about, are the effects. At times the frame is so packed with whirring cogs and twirling cranks that you could replicate the effect by staring at the innards of a domestic appliance, but when these CG moto-men from another world duke it out, the images are often so screwy it’s impossible to do anything but sit and stare. The Shanghai-set opening sequence is lunatic fun, with Optimus Prime leaping onto the face of a colossal, rampaging unicycle and ordering it to, “Pull over”. And while Prime’s later forest face-off against a trio of Decepticons suffers by comparison to a recent film’s spar between a big ape and three dinosaurs, there are more flawlessly rendered money shots in the last 40 minutes alone than in a dozen less ambitious blockbusters.

It’s just a shame there aren’t more ideas behind the spectacle, since we’re not given much in the way of compelling reasons to root for one pixelly pugilist over another. Long before the final minute it’s become a numbing, wearying viewing experience. Next time could we have less balls and more brains?

Verdict
A super-sized second helping, but the novelty factor and some of the charm’s gone. Hey, at least there’s more Megatron / Starscream squabbling this time round.


Reviewer: Nick de Semlyen

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Your Reviews
Average user rating for Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen
Empire Star Rating

how the shitey has fallen
Empire User Rating

this film offended my eyes ears and feelings.i fucking loathed this with a passion.exploiting megan fox deepthroat style! the viisual effects are a disgrace,impossible to make out 90% of the time.this film has no redeeming features whatsoever.my girlfriend loved it.....DAMN HER. ... Read More

Deckystrikesback About me
16:04, 24 October 2009 | Report This Post

Noise of the Fallen
Empire User Rating

Crash bang wallop, funny parents, Megan Fox is a ride. Crash bang wallop, annoying story, two dogs shagging (WTF) crash bang wallop, can barely tell one Tranny from the other...arse getting numb. Crash bang wallop, nowhere near as good as the first. ... Read More

sephiroth7 About me
09:53, 23 October 2009 | Report This Post

RE: Transformers 2

Can't wait for the DVD. ... Read More

Tech_Noir About me
16:57, 11 October 2009 | Report This Post

RE: Transformers 2

L: Tech_Noir L: lbiu I have just seen this again and now can officially confirm that this movie gets much worst on second viewing to go see it with a friend who was desperate to see it). ote] Why do people always say that? - be honest, you liked it and was desperate to see it again. ote] What can I say....Im a sucker for punishment ... Read More

lbiu About me
16:55, 11 October 2009 | Report This Post

What Happened?
Empire User Rating

sorry, i lost interest at the girl transformer what a pile of shite it's just one long ILM Wankfest ... Read More

fac51thehacienda About me
11:36, 02 October 2009 | Report This Post

NNNOOOO!!!!
Empire User Rating

This movie is like a metaphor for all thats wrong with hollywood today. Bloated, loud, overlong, unenjoyable garbage. Megan Fox looks hot as always. But Shia Lebuef is seriously startin to get on my nerves. Avoid and just cherish your memories of the first one...while praying they never get around to making the third... ... Read More

Johnny Dragon About me
19:10, 26 September 2009 | Report This Post

Does what it says on the tin!
Empire User Rating

this is dumb entertaining summer fun with big explosions, thoughtless action, robots bashing into each other and plot hoes galore. A perfect popcorn summer blockbuster with superb special effects and action sequences. It may be to long and the plot ridiculous but hey did you really go into a michael bay summer film about robots really expecting art? take it for what it is, go with it and you will enjoy its nonsense, humour and action. Perhpas next time though Megan Fox could be more than window ... Read More

THE DALTONATOR About me
11:26, 08 September 2009 | Report This Post

Entertaining if not Intellectual
Empire User Rating

Before I begin, the Matrix of Leadership appears in the original animated movie so Transformers fans will be aware that this has merely been reused in this film, albeit in a slightly different form. I like this film for a number if reasons but there are lot of things that bugged me about it. The action scenes are just too fast. I'm not sure its possible for the human eye to tell exactly whats going! I think this is a general problem with action films these days (Quantum of Solace, Bourne tril... Read More

Mashley Etcalfe About me
21:44, 27 August 2009 | Report This Post

Entertaining if not Intellectual
Empire User Rating

Before I begin, the Matrix of Leadership appears in the original animated movie so Transformers fans will be aware that this has merely been reused in this film, albeit in a slightly different form. I like this film for a number if reasons but there are lot of things that bugged me about it. The action scenes are just too fast. I'm not sure its possible for the human eye to tell exactly whats going! I think this is a general problem with action films these days (Quantum of Solace, Bourne tril... Read More

Mashley Etcalfe About me
21:40, 27 August 2009 | Report This Post

Empire User Rating

UTTER DROSS ... Read More

omarx About me
00:12, 18 August 2009 | Report This Post

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