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Reviews
STAR RATINGS EXPLAINED
Unmissable 5 Stars
Excellent 4 Stars
Good 3 Stars
Poor 2 Stars
Tragic 1 Star

FILM DETAILS
Certificate
15
Cast
Oliver Stone
Arnold Schwarzenegger
James Earl Jones.
Directors
John Milius.
Screenwriters
John Milius.
Running Time
0 minutes

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Conan The Barbarian
A must for fans of Arnie and muscle-bound Aryan-types


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Plot
As a child, Conan is orphaned and sold into slavery. When he grows into a big, strapping lad, he uses his gladiatorial skills to seek out and destroy the warlord responsible for his fate.


Review
It's easy to criticise Conan. Cheesy. Dated. And ever-so-slightly fascist (Conan is the ultimate Aryan: punishing the weak and defending the strong, while looking great in thigh-high boots). But while all that's true, for Arnie fans, the film still rocks.

There's Basil Poledouris' strong score. There's bone-crunching violence from vintage Arnie. And there's a script so bizarre it could only have come from Oliver Stone's 'whoa, man' phase. There's nudity (yet strangely for a movie made by two prominent Republicans, no bush). And, of course, there are midgets wrestling with pigs. And you can't say fairer than that.


Extras

Conan The Barbarian Conan The Barbarian
Released: 06 May 2002
Whatever Arnie bagged for his commentary with director John Milius, it was worth it to hear him guffaw at his own movie (“You’re sick, John. HA HA HA!!!” he bellows at one point), while Milius patiently explains the plot to his bemused Austrian chum.

There’s also an excellent documentary in which love interest Sandahl Bergman says that she had a finger severed during a sword fight, Milius admits he would rather be a general than a director, and Stone complains that his original script, featuring three-headed mutants, was jettisoned (it’s a conspiracy). Throw in great deleted scenes, and you’ve got a disc worthy of Conan’s God, Krom, himself.


Verdict
For everyone else though, this is probably best enjoyed with friends. Of the tinned variety.


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Average user rating for Conan The Barbarian
Empire Star Rating

RE: So Much Better Than The 2011 Version

n the Barbarian (1982) The first film to get Arnie on the way to the man he is today, and the first of three very similar fantasy flicks. Based on a pulp comic character from the 30's this film franchise turned the idea on its head and into a cult spanning many different formats and influencing other fantasy films, it also helped some videogames along the way. The plot is simple, 'Conan' is taken from his family who have been conveniently killed by a band of nasty warriors dressed in bla... More

Posted by Phubbs at 05:46, 10 March 2013 | Report This Post


So Much Better Than The 2011 Version

I really was not expecting this to be great tbh I thought that Conan The Destroyer was the original but only because thats always on ItV 4 at night how I was wrong. I found the special edition 2 disc dvd complete with remastered 5.1 surround sound from a charity shop and wow it is great with decent FX too really a treat for Arny fans. The 2011 version is a pile of shit though. 1984 version actually a classic. ... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by Bighousewill at 18:46, 09 November 2011 | Report This Post


The age of high adventure...

I recently watched the film having not seen it for many years and it was even better than I remembered. It has aged like a fine wine (or should that be a bottle of fake blood?). Excellent performances from everyone involved, especially James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom and one of the greatest film scores ever from Basil Poledouris. ... More

Empire User Rating

Posted by jim_ballard76 at 15:11, 05 April 2006 | Report This Post


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