Plot Curmudgeon and self-proclaimed genius Boris Yellnikoff (David) reluctantly shelters dippy, homeless, runaway-teen Southern belle Melody (Wood) and in a senior moment marries her. Complications arrive in the shapes of Melody’s outraged mama (Clarkson), her distraught daddy (Begley Jr.) and amorous English actor Randy (Cavill).Verdict Tragically making Vicky Cristina Barcelona look like a happy accident, Whatever Works is retro Allen that smacks of desperation.