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| Tragic |
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| FILM DETAILS | Certificate
12A | | Cast
Hugh Jackman
Kate Beckinsale
Richard Roxburgh
David Wenham. | | Directors
Stephen Sommers. | | Screenwriters
Stephen Sommers. | | Running Time
132 minutes |
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Van Helsing
Plot
Transylvania, late 19th century. Vatican-sponsored monster hunter Gabriel Van Helsing (Jackman) teams up with gypsy princess Anna Valerious (Beckinsale) to thwart Dracula (Roxburgh), who is planning to unleash his evil spawn with the aid of Frankenstein’s Monster and The Wolf Man. Review
Universal have a lot riding on Van Helsing. Aside from a tentpole $150 million summer blockbuster (and any potential sequels), the DVD reissue of the classic horror flicks, a computer game, a theme park ride, an animated prequel and a planned TV series will all live or die by a mass audience embracing Stephen Sommers’ monster mash-up.
Which might go some way to explaining why Sommers’ follow-up to his Mummy pictures tries so damn hard to entertain: a blitzkrieg of CG monsters, voluptuous production values and Alan Silvestri musical bombast, the result reaches overload very quickly, squandering the potentially cool premise in a headlong assault of set-piece over story.
Sommers sets his Cinema Of Excess manifesto from the outset, beginning with two prologues: the first a strikingly realised, black-and-white backstory for Dracula and pals — Sommers throws in every classic Universal trope, from Gothic castles, to angry villagers, to torchlight processions within the first two minutes — the second, the end of a previous Van Helsing mission in which Van The Man sees off Mr. Hyde in a full-on smackdown.
Yet rather than slowing down, we are thrown onto a runaway juggernaut of Event Sequences — Dracula’s winged brides strafe Anna’s village! The Wolf Man attacks! An escape by horse and carriage! Etc. etc. — that makes Temple Of Doom look like Tarkovsky.
There is an inescapable feeling that if Sommers had the confidence to jettison some of his action licks — do we really need to see our heroes swing across a CG castle so many times? — and put in some pauses for breath and character, Van Helsing would have been a much less wearing, more fulfilling experience.
Compounding the repetitive feel, the plot has a cyclical structure in which the events of the first half — Van Helsing must stop Dracula using The Wolf Man as a battery to revitalise his evil spawn — are practically repeated verbatim in the second half — Van Helsing must stop Dracula using Frankenstein’s Monster as a battery to revitalise his evil spawn.
Potential points of affecting human drama — Van Helsing and Anna’s growing attraction, Frankenstein’s Monster’s desire to live and the backstory between Van Helsing and Dracula — are squandered in the rush for the next pixel-packed punch.
Perhaps the biggest casualties of this kitchen sink-and-all mentality are the cast. Jackman, who, on paper, is the perfect modern matinée idol, is denied a single moment to inject character into his character, the minimal dialogue scenes tooled solely to forward what passes for a plot.
Adopting a borderline-camp East European accent, Beckinsale can do little with her vengeful vampire slayer. Only Richard Roxburgh is given space to etch a character, his Dracula, all flamboyant tics and hissy fits, coming on like a bassist from some defunct New Romantic outfit.
As a director, Sommers orchestrates with maximum hustle and bustle, his computer-controlled camera swooping and soaring with the winged Brides Of Dracula, his editing strategies juxtaposing storylines at a dizzying rate. But he has none of the relentless logic or beautifully-crafted artistry of a Zemeckis or Cameron.
Moreover, he has little idea how to develop dread or cultivate creepiness. For all its purported relationship to its fêted horror forebears, Van Helsing does not offer up anything like a genuine chill.
Occasionally, there are grace notes that suggest an underlying intelligence. During Van Helsing’s introductory skirmish with Mr. Hyde, a half-built Eiffel Tower dominates the Parisian skyline, neatly locating the hero in time and place. Later, at a bustling masqued ball, a shot in a mirror reveals Anna to be the only mortal dancing, a smart, sly use of the vampires-don’t-have-reflections mythos.
That these little moments linger far longer than any of the supposed showstoppers could be a lesson well worth heeding before the inevitable Van Helsing 2.
Verdict
Amped up to the max, Van Helsing has plenty of bang for your buck but little personality. For all the impressive production values on show, you can’t help feeling that less would be considerably more.
Reviewed by Ian Freer
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Average user rating for Van Helsing
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| Almost perfect | | I would have given it 5 stars but I didnt like his hat. ... More | | | Posted by tdw2782 at 14:46, 10 September 2009 | Report This Post | |
| | | Almost perfect | | I would have given it 5 stars but I didnt like his hat. ... More | | | Posted by tdw2782 at 14:46, 10 September 2009 | Report This Post | |
| | | Treat as Comedy? | | This film gets slated for putting too much emphasis on action and not spending enough time on character development & story. These are valid points - but are they any less valid for more critically acclaimed action blockbusters like, say, Transformers, Spiderman 3, X3, Armageddon etc? I watched all these films at the cinema, own them all on DVD and watch them at least once per year. Why? Because they're fun and don't take themselves too seriously!! 4 stars for me. ... More | | | Posted by Hillsman at 10:26, 03 August 2009 | Report This Post | |
| | | I remember how this sucked. | | In response to Chimene "you don't have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all" - Get bent. That's the point of giving your critical opinion. Stephen Sommers just emulates Star Wars and Indy way too much but he has no spark of originality, or time to even bother with character or tension. And to all who say 'its an action fest, who cares about character', without character you don't care what happens to anyone. Van Helsing looks rich but there's nothing of any real value here at a... More | | | Posted by alsybroth at 11:34, 29 April 2009 | Report This Post | |
| | | Well I like it.... | | I really honestly cannot see why this film is hated by so many people. Yeah it's got a lot in it but for gods sake the sets, costumes , make up and the acting are bloody fantastic!!!! If you don't have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all..... ... More | | | Posted by Chimene at 22:08, 09 April 2009 | Report This Post | |
| | | What a horrible film | | With hype like this, you'd expect Van Helsing to deliver something but instead it was a boring, dissapointing mess with shit CGI. Piss Offf. ... More | | | Posted by jamdodge1 at 21:18, 15 May 2007 | Report This Post | |
| | | Van Helsing | |
Hugh Jackman is the notorious monster hunter Gabriel Van Helsing. Employed by a shadowy Vatican based evil-fighting organisation, he's sent to Romania to help Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), gypsy princess, destroy Dracula. He is an ambiguous character, constantly walking the fine line between hunter and murderer.
After two outings as Wolverine and now as Van Helsing, Jackman has perfected the hero with a tortured soul and delivers an impressive performance.
Beckinsale is also on exc... More | | | Posted by kevin stanley at 21:19, 23 October 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | I've heard arguments in support of this film (and others like it) that go like this 'hey it's for ten year olds, relax and enjoy it blah blah blah' Guess what? Star Wars, Indy Jones, The Goonies, Superman:The Movie. These were all movies aimed at ten year olds and lo and behold, there good. Van Helsing is not, it's drivel. A horrid horrid movie. ... More | | Posted by Bobby1975 at 17:14, 02 August 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | Van Helsing has to be one of the biggest disappointments in cinematic history. I was so geared up to watching this on its initial release. But I came out feeling absolutely gutted. Bad acting, direction, story and special effects culminate in a mess of huge proportions.
2 stars is mighty generous IMO. One of the worst films I have ever seen and will never see again!!! ... More | | | Posted by MuckyMuckMan at 10:55, 02 August 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | This is truly a shocker in every sense, I've only ever walked out of an auditorium 3 times and two of those were Sommers flicks, Van Helsing & Mummy Returns! VH is absolute garbage and I agree with all the negative stuff above, how this guy gets a gig is beyond me. It's not often I can't find anything redeeming to say about a movie, but this is such a time.
FYI the other movie I walked out of was Congo, don't get me started...
you a Mexican or Mexic... More | | | Posted by pocketrocket at 17:01, 01 August 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | lutely appalling & abhorrent ‘film’. An offensive piece of ‘cinema’. Totally ineptly directed by Sommers who seems to have no idea as to how to construct anything resembling a coherent narrative. He does not have the ability to direct a story, only tired action scenes that are boringly staged & repetitive – just how many times do people swing on ropes in this film? An insult to the legacy of Universal's horror heritage. This is a film totally devoid of any merit & all copies should ... More | | Posted by Monkeyshaver at 11:48, 01 August 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | A huge letdown,was really looking forward to this at the time. ... More | | Posted by mayor vaughn at 07:30, 01 August 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | I am one of these filmgoers who can watch effects driven movies even if they lack most things apart from the visuals, but Van Helsing is SO fucking awful is just bored me into oblivion. I cannot overstate how bad this movie is - it is terrible ... More | | Posted by Fluke Skywalker at 21:36, 30 July 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | loud, brash, non-sensical, bad editing, stupid dialogue and story line, and some ropey effects in parts.
But from the guy who made The Mummy Returns, what did you expect?!
I think The Mummy must have been a fluke.
Sommers must have learned his technique from the Paul WS Anderson of film making. Speaking of which, why did Anderson add the WS? Did he think that he could change his name and start a new career? ... More | | Posted by Sutty at 17:31, 30 July 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: RE: | | Great fun and am glad to own it on DVD ... More | | Posted by Daniel Kelly at 13:39, 30 July 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | RE: | | Oh dear. I missed Van Helsing at the cinema but snapped it up on DVD. I had obviously read many, many reviews on the film and the general reaction to it was that it was, well, utter shit.
Yet still i felt the need to purchase it. I mean, theres always a chance that all those people were wrong, right?
I am a big fan of all the original Universal Monster films so this film looked to be my cup of tea.
I popped in the DVD, sat down with Bud in hand and pressed play. For the first ten minutes ... More | | | Posted by PedroSanchez at 13:12, 30 July 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | | Pretty damn good. To be honest when I look back at it I can't remember a single thing wrong with it. ... More | | | Posted by huny_monster at 17:18, 24 June 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | | Literally one of the worst films I've ever seen. ... More | | | Posted by CURIOUS_GEORGE at 17:25, 18 May 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | ok | | Wasnt too bad, thought it was good in places with some humor. Wouldn't say it was entirely bad. ... More | | | Posted by alexisreaver2132 at 14:29, 17 May 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | No personality, too many special effects and way too many fights with monsters! | |
‘Less is more‘. A phrase that the writers of this monster bombardment should have considered before going full-on with cheap special effects, ‘creepy’ gothic castles and an extreme monster overload. Frankly this film tries too hard to entertain, and by doing this leads to a somewhat predictable storyline. The cheap thrills consist of the inevitable thunderstorms, the loud instrumental background music and the overdone ‘Transylvanian’ accents and costume. Th... More | | | Posted by popnfresh66613 at 16:36, 19 April 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | WORST MOVIE EVER!!!! | | I was absoloutely appauled by this movie. How it could get any rating over one star is still a mystery. The film mixes bad acting, Bad CGI and bad action scenes with the worst direction possible and vomit inducing one liners ("Next time you go to kill someone, Kill them. Don't just stand around tallking about it.???) Whenever I see this film in a DVD store I throw it to the ground, step on it and spit on it. Then put it one the shelf and leave before I'm caught on CCTV. Anyway: DO NOT WATC... More | | | Posted by jamdodge1 at 21:35, 12 April 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | Van Helsing | | great movie with interesting plot. I think Beckinsale needs a break from these kind of movies. ... More | | | Posted by premierbaron at 14:22, 18 March 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | Van Helsing | | Wanted to enjoy it but poor CGI overload ruins the experience somewhat.
Kate Beckinsale makes it worth a look though! ... More | | | Posted by Andyhutch at 19:01, 28 February 2006 | Report This Post | |
| | | | This film is everything that is wrong with hollywood blockbusters, why do these filmakers (and i use this in the loosest sense) think that we just want to see a load of special effects with no characterisation whats so ever. This is an awfull film and compared to say spiderman two which does combine great characterisation with kick ass action its even worse. This could of been great but its just awfull, but on a positive note the opening sequence is alright (i suppose) ... More | | | Posted by cookio1982 at 19:32, 23 February 2006 | Report This Post | |
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