|For those not familiar with his opus, Uwe Boll is a director who turns video games into films. His last film, Alone in the Dark, flopped at the US box office, and its predecessor, House of the Dead is widely reviled by fans. Now he's set to turn his sights on Dungeon Siege, another adaptation of a game.|
What's worrying is that this time he's taking Empire favourite Jason Statham with him. If Boll's previous efforts are anything to go by, this will die a death at the box office and pass swiftly into oblivion - Jase, please, no! You've worked with Michael Mann – don’t do it!
The latest of Boll’s monster-blasters is based on the best-selling fantasy game franchise of the same name from Gas Powered Games. It tells the story of average Joe, Farmer, who is transformed into a hero as he battles to save his kidnapped wife and avenge his murdered son in the Kingdom of Ehb. Just to complicate matters, this all takes place against the background of a war between the evil Gallian and King Konreid, with our hero under threat from animal warriors called Krugs. No, that doesn't make sense to us either, and yes, we are having near-fatal flashbacks to the disastrous Dungeons and Dragons movie.
Jason 'The Transporter' Statham will play Farmer, bringing his trademark tough-guy-bald-headedness to a role (probably) far beneath his talents. Helen Hunt lookalike Leelee Sobieski will also star, as will John 'Lord of the Rings' Rhys Davies, Matthew 'Scream' Lillard, Ron 'Hellboy' Perlman and the legend that is Burt Reynolds. T3's Kristanna Loken will play a magical tree. Yes, a tree. She's already starring in Boll's BloodRayne, which means that the director has now transformed her from killer robot to half-vampire crusader to leafy lifeform. And the same could happen to Statham if he's not careful!
The film is due for release in late summer 2006, which, given that Blood Rayne is also yet to debut, means that Boll's fans (and hello to you both!) can look forward to two of his films in the next 12 months or so. And yes, he does have his fans (as this site shows. So if you’re one of the minions slavering for Boll’s next masterwork, this is a day to give thanks. If you’re not part of this elite group, you might want to sign that Ban Uwe Boll petition that’s floating around the internet. Either way, you won’t be able to avoid this wunderkind for the considerable future.