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Jameson Empire Awards 2012 Winners!
Plus: The Awards minute-by-minute blog

26 March 2012  |  Written by Helen O'Hara  

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Ah, spring. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and flocks of beautiful people are pitching up on the red carpet outside a swanky hotel in London. It can only mean one thing: it’s time for the Jameson Empire Awards 2012. The big winner of the night was Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which took home Best Thriller, Best Actor (for Gary Oldman) and Best British Film. The Best Film of the year went to Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part Two, which also won Best Director for David Yates, while Olivia Colman took Best Actress for her astonishing turn in Tyrannosaur.

The Awards were voted for by the Empire reader, and it's fair to say that they reflect a wide-ranging taste. Best Comedy went to homegrown British juggernaut The Inbetweeners, while Best Horror went to the deeply disturbing Kill List. The Americans got a look-in for Best Sci-Fi / Fantasy with Thor (although even that has a British director in Kenneth Branagh).

Thor's wayward brother Loki, or at least alter-ego Tom Hiddleston, took Best Male Newcomer, while Best Female Newcomer went to Felicity Jones.  The Art Of 3D Award went to The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn

After that, it was on to the special awards for people we just think are awesome. Empire Hero was Michael Fassbender this year; Empire Inspiration went to Ron Howard ("for Apollo 13 alone, he deserves this!" as presenter Chris Hemsworth noted") and this year's Empire Icon was Tim Burton.

The full list of winners is below, and for all the madness and shindiggery of the night, check back later and tomorrow for more pictures and video from the night, and look out for an exclusive report in a future edition of Empire.

Best Male Newcomer 
John Boyega (Attack The Block) 
Asa Butterfield (Hugo) 
Sam Claflin (Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides) 
Tom Hiddleston (Thor) 
Jeremy Irvine (War Horse)
Craig Roberts (Submarine)

Best Female Newcomer 
Celine Buckens (War Horse) 
Elle Fanning (Super 8)
Laura Haddock (The Inbetweeners Movie)
Felicity Jones (Like Crazy)
Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)
Bonnie Wright (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows — Part 2)

Best Comedy
Attack The Block
Bridesmaids
Crazy Stupid Love 
The Inbetweeners Movie
Midnight In Paris

Best Horror
Attack The Block 
Insidious
Kill List 
Paranormal Activity 3
Troll Hunter

Best Thriller Presented by Café de Paris
Drive
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Hanna
Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows 
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Captain America: The First Avenger
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
Super 8
Thor
X-Men: First Class

The Art Of 3D Presented by RealD
The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows — Part 2
Hugo
Thor 
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Jameson Best Actor
Daniel Craig (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)
Ryan Gosling (Drive)
Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows — Part 2)
Andy Serkis (Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes)

Best Actress Presented by Citroën
Olivia Colman (Tyrannosaur) 
Rooney Mara (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) 
Carey Mulligan (Drive) 
Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady) 
Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn)

Best Director
Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Solider Spy) 
Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive) 
Steven Spielberg (War Horse) 
Rupert Wyatt (Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes)
David Yates (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows — Part 2)

Best British Film 
Attack The Block
The Inbetweeners Movie
Submarine
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Tyrannosaur

Best Film Presented by Sky Movies
Drive
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo 
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows — Part 2
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes


Here's our minute-by-minute breakdown of the entire event.


14:49 

Preparations are underway, with the press in place and the last-minute red carpet adjustments all done. This photo was taken literally moments after the final speck of dust was swept from the carpet.

15:25 

Want a quick look at what the tables look like inside the ceremony? Of course you do...!

15:53 

The stars are beginning to arrive on the red carpet... photos soon!

16:24 

Michelle Ryan and Joanne Froggatt arrive...

16:26 

Morgan Spurlock

16:27 

@empiremagazine Dolph Lundgren is on the red carpet, and he's brought security. That's right, someone thought Dolph needed protection.

16:32 

Olivia Wilde on her way into the awards' drinks reception...

16:36 

Loki himself, Tom Hiddleston signs a few autographs before he makes his way in.

16:54 

The Attack The Block guys on the red carpet closely followed by the Kill List gang...

17:11 

The legendary Ron Howard arrives...

17:16 

The shiny new Bond girl, Berenice Marlohe arrives, looking lovely in "Empire Red"

17:17 

Danny DeVito!

17:23 

We're beginning! Hosts Lauren Laverne, friend of the mag and someone who decidedly does not have a face for radio, and our own Chris Hewitt are presenting, the latter because "I'm cheaper than everyone else on the planet" and also because he's well funny, innit. They are this year's James Franco and Anne Hathaway at the Oscars - only not quite so dazed looking, so far at least.

Laverne points out that this is the most "laid-back - shorthand for drunken" awards around. Chris explains what a magazine is for the benefit of the younger kids in the audience - like the Attack the Block and Harry Potter cast.

"Any Tinker Tailors in tonight?" calls Chris. "That made millions of people go back to the cinema again and again, just to figure out what the hell was going on." Chris even drew us a diagram to explain it all, but aparently we don't have time for his three- hour breakdown of what went on.

It was also a year for misleading film titles: "There were no submarines in Submarine; no dinosaurs in Tyrannosaur!" says Chris. "Tim Burton is here tonight. But sadly he hasn't brought his gorgeous life partner with him, so Johnny, if you're watching, hello."

We have true legends here: Danny DeVito and Ron Howard have both joined us, as well as up-and-comers like Jeremy Irvine and Tom Hiddleston. After the latter brought Chris some soup at the BAFTAs, Chris has brought Tom some soup in return. Well, otherwise it wouldn't be fair. Since the dinner isn't until after the Awards, Hiddleston may soon be mobbed by a crowd of hungry starlets.

There are 16 awards coming up, so it's almost time to get going. Winners are urged to keep speeches between 28 seconds and 28 minutes - wise words there.

17:26 

First up is a new award, The Art of 3D, presented by RealD. Well, you didn’t expect the newbie award to get the prime end-of-evening spot, did you? Still, given that many in the film industry see 3D as the future / a big strong army-man saving the entire industry from terrifying pirates, this placement may reflect its position at the forefront of Hollywood's thoughts. Here to present is "a man who's just unleashed his last TV Burp" Harry Hill, looking as dapper as is his wont. “Why do one-eyed people have to spend the same amount of money on 3D films as the rest of us?" he wonders aloud. The assembled glamourpusses, dignitaries and celebrities don their 3D glasses to watch the clip reel. They still look good, dammit. That's not fair.

And the winner is: THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN: THE SECRET OF THE UNICORN
"It seems that Steven Spielberg isn't here tonight; he's in Nandos in Croydon, but I'll make sure he gets it," says Hill.

17:38 

Next up is Best Male Newcomer, to acknowledge the actors that exploded into our collective film consciousness this year (not a euphemism). As Chris notes, there were so many great newcomers this year that we had to split the category in two, with male and female actors separately nominated. And as Laverne notes, it's unusual that so many of the nominees are actual newcomers.

As the clip reel demonstrates, this is a seriously varied selection of nominees. You’ve got Jeremy Irvine and Asa Butterfield, up after working with Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese respectively. They’re up against everyone’s favourite bad guy, Tom Hiddleston (actually a very nice man; that’s a reference to Loki, honest); everyone’s favourite mermaid-loving missionary Sam Claflin; everyone’s favourite Welsh teen Craig Roberts and everyone’s favourite alien-fighting hoodie, John Boyega. And they’re all local boys too! Didn’t they do well? Hayley Atwell has taken a break from setting Captain America’s heart a-flutter in order to present this one (She'll next be seen "breaking down doors and screaming 'SARGE!' in The Sweeney" explains Laverne).

"It's been a very good year for hot males," says Atwell. "Let's see who I get to take home this evening."

And the winner is: TOM HIDDLESTON
"My congratulations and apologies to my fellow nominees; you are all exceptional actors. I do feel, at 31 years old, like the granddad of the group, but I guess you should be consoled at the thought that it's taken you a lot less time to find your mojo than it has me ['Thank you!' comes a shout from the back of the room; from John Boyega we suspect] I still feel like the people in this room are my inspiration, and that Empire magazine has always fuelled my passion."

How lovely! Our collective crush has become more crippling.

17:42 

Now it’s time for Best Female Newcomer, presented by the dishy combination of Matthew Morrison and Chace Crawford. Apparently, merely by reading out their names Chris has put every woman in the room at risk of pregnancy. Yes, the stars of Glee and Gossip Girl are here (they're appearing together in What To Expect When You're Expecting), and the chiseled factor of the room has climbed perceptibly.

"Is anyone pregnant yet?" asks Crawford merrily, before introducing the line-up.

Judging by this year’s nominees, the stars really are younger these days than they used to be. Among this bunch, Hailee Steinfeld looks almost adult, since she’s up against War Horse’s Celine Buckens and Super 8’s Elle Fanning. Still, Felicity Jones, Laura Haddock and Bonnie Wright are all grown up, so perhaps we shouldn’t all feel quite so old.

And the winner is: FELICITY JONES
"Unfortunately Felicity can't be with us tonight; she's in New York filming. So we'll give it to Dolph Lundgren!" says Morrison, taking his life in his hands if you ask us.

17:47 

On to one of the highlights of the Jameson Empire Awards, the presentation of the Done In Sixty Seconds competition winners. Once again, we asked readers to re-make existing film classics (or not-so-classics) in under a minute, and once again you all amazed us with your ingenuity, skill and humour – not to mention your utter craziness. Our beloved leader, Empire editor-in-chief Mark Dinning, is presenting along with Alex Zane and Chris O’Dowd, following the finals ceremony on Friday night (which was, as ever, anarchic, a little tipsy and glorious).

O'Dowd, Chris tells us, has just had major knee surgery. "I'm OK," O'Dowd assures us. "My balls just kept knocking against it." Our generalissimo, Mark, manages to follow that and introduce the five finalists.

And the winner is: INDIRA SULEIMENOVA for a truly inspired take on BLACK SWAN
This may be our first ever Kazakhstani winner of an Empire award.
"It's unbelieveable, and I would like to thank my family and my friends who supported me. Thank you so much! I don't believe it was true!"

17:54 

Don your trenchcoats and glare suspiciously at those around you, because it’s time now for Best Thriller, presented by Café de Paris. Laverne and Hewitt are currently pushing for the assignment of some outrageous act to the phrase and euphemism-in-waiting "punching an owl" - which might make sense if you've seen the film. Basically, Mark Strong literally punches an owl in it. But surely there should be another use for that phrase?

Another eclectic collection of nominees contains everything from Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows to Drive to the much more sober Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Can David Fincher’s Girl With The Dragon Tattoo do as well as the Swedish version did at these awards previously?

Rising Brit stars MyAnna Buring (she of Kill List and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn) and Sam Claflin (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and soon Snow White And The Huntsman) are presenting this one, and looking good doing it.

And the winner is: TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY
Peter Straughan, Mark Strong and Gary Oldman collect the prize.
Straughan: "I think it's lovely that we won Best Thriller for a film where the most nail-biting scene is someone stealing a file from a library."

18:00 

If the thought of all those men sitting around looking serious in all those little rooms has got you down, never fear, it’s time for some laughter! Specifically, it’s time for the Best Comedy award, a category that always poses the question: if laughter is the best medicine, don’t you think Airplane! deserved the Nobel Prize in that category? Perhaps one of these efforts could be considered next year.

Agyness Deyn, who’s taken the practically unprecedented step of supermodel to successful stage actress recently (and appears in the upcoming Pusher on the big screen), presents this one.

And the winner is: THE INBETWEENERS
Here to collect the award is, well, everyone! There must be 15 people on stage.
Joe Thomas: "It's ridiculous that we've won an award, but it's been a great ride making this show and this film. Thank you for going to see it and voting for it."

18:05 

Enough laughter! Now we’re putting our blankies over our heads and cowering behind the sofa, because it’s time to reward the twisted, terrifying souls who scared us this year with the Best Horror category. Oh sure, the nominees might look like nice people, but they’re surely hiding dead bodies in the basement given films like Kill List and Insidious.

Our Chris claims that all previous winners of this award have died within 7 days of receiving it, but we're not sure that's true. Unless they've been un-dead ever since. Uh-oh.

Anyway, Joanne Froggatt and Jamie Campbell-Bower are presenting this one. Campbell-Bower marvels, "I just walked past Ron Howard to get up here. That's pretty fuckin' awesome."

But enough chat! The winner is: KILL LIST
Director Ben Wheatley, producer Claire Jones and stars Michael Smiley and MyAnna Buring are here to collect.
Wheatley: "Bloody hell! If I'd thought I was going to win I'd have worn a suit."

18:12 

To be honest, Team Blighty’s been doing well on home turf at these awards so far – a good omen for the Olympics? – but now it’s time to stack the decks with a category that excludes everyone else. Yes, it's Best British Film. It’s a heck of a line-up this year: the impeccable class of Tinker Tailor up against the rowdy “yoot” of Attack The Block; the unforgettable Tyrannosaur; the very different teenage stories of Submarine and The Inbetweeners Movie. But who will be singing God Save The Queen when the envelope is opened?

Appropriately enough, actual Olympic athletes and members of Team GB, triple-jumper Phillips Idowu and 400-m hurdler Perri Shakes-Drayton, are presenting.

Idowu: "This is the best award we've ever presented; hopefully we'll be doing the nation proud this summer. So it's great to be giving out this award: come on, GB!" Mad cheers all round.

And the winner is: TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY
Straughan delivers a few words from director Tomas Alfredson, which we recommend watching in the video that will shortly be below. Alfredson sent Straughan a story involving a 75 year-old hunchback, so it's worth watching. Sadly, Mark Strong and Gary Oldman once again take no role other than standing there and looking awesome.

18:16 

Time to get your geek on and space out with the Best Sci-Fi / Fantasy category next, featuring three Marvel superhero stories, a monkey’s tale and the touching story of five teens who set out to make a movie about zombies and get interrupted by an alien. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

New Bond girl Berenice Marlohe is presenting this one, and causing every man in the room to consider changing careers to become a spy because, clearly, the benefits outweigh the risks.

And the winner is: THOR
Happily, the man/god/alien himself, Chris Hemsworth, is here to accept the lovely new Empire award (no longer Perspex!).
Hemsworth: "Tom Hiddleston was supposed to be up here with me collecting this on behalf of Ken, but after winning his own award he's backstage becoming a celebrity; it's that easy."

18:21 

Two Brits, two Scandinavians and Steven Spielberg walk into a bar and fight it out for the Best Director prize next. Here to present "even if it takes 87 takes to get it right", as Laverne puts it, is the impeccably groomed David Morrissey. "It's fantastic to be here, such a wonderful...goody bag," says Morrissey, amusingly.

And the winner is: DAVID YATES for HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART TWO
Yates is described by Morrissey as "not only a great director but some wonderful wine lodges"

Yates: "The wine lodges are just a side business; they help with production finance sometimes. Anyone who's ever directed a movie like this knows that it's a huge great family that helps bring these movies to fruition and makes them what they are. Thank you Empire; it's a real treat to get this from people who love movies."

18:29 

We’re into the home straight now, with the Best Actor award, presented by Jameson. Well, presented by Olivia Wilde, since Jameson doesn’t look nearly so good in heels, but you get where we’re coming from. It's time to go wild with an E, as our Chris says.

It's another great selection - well chosen, voters! Andy Serkis is up for brilliantly aping an ape (sorry) in Rise Of The Planet Of The Same; Ryan Gosling for beating someone with a hammer in Drive and Daniel Craig for essaying a Swedish accent and wearing his glasses funny in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. But it’s the family drama we’re interested in here: OMG Harry Potter’s up against Sirius Black! OK, so it’s Daniel Radcliffe who’s up for Potter and sometime-Sirius Gary Oldman is in fact nominated for Tinker Tailor, but we have to make our scandal where we can find it – at least until we persuade some of these celebrities to commit some major indiscretions. Give us until the after party. Anyway, back to the award!

Wilde: "Lovely to be here. Did anyone eat? In America we eat."

And the winner is: GARY OLDMAN for TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY
We like to think that you were all won over by his favourite sandwich answer in our webchat, but it might possibly have been his talent, we suppose. Jonathan Ross hed that standing ovation that's underway. Well, it's only right and proper. Oldman salutes the crowd as the William Tell Overture welcomes him to the stage.

Oldman: "It's a veteran's win. [When Oldman won the Icon award here last year, he said it was his first award ever] And I also got a marching band. This is a very special award because it isn't political. There's no agenda; it's just movie fans. And I will cherish this - thank you very much."

18:35 

As night follows day and Andy Murray trails behind Djokovic, Federer and Nadal, Best Actor must be followed by Best Actress, presented by Citroen. The utterly delightful and possibly psychic James McAvoy (well, he was Professor Xavier) is here to present this one to one of the nominees, all of whom had complex, layered women to play whether they were a bit psycho (Rooney Mara, Meryl Streep) or under threat (Olivia Colman, Carey Mulligan) or a total star (Michelle Williams).

McAvoy says he's honoured to be presenting this award, given the quality of the performances. "They left me feeling quite warm inside, which is impressive given some of the material."

And the winner is: OLIVIA COLMAN for TYRANNOSAUR!
"All the nominees deserve the highest praise but if I had to pick a winner it would be..." and McAvoy reads Colman's name at something near a shout. Frankly, the crowd goes wild. No disrespect for the other nominees, but hooray! Colman's amazing performance has finally won some recognition. Readers, you rock!



Colman: "You'll make me cry. Embarrassing. Hello! Thank you very much. I genuinely didn't prepare anything because I figured I'd been lucky enough and also because it's voted for and it wasn't the biggest film. Although it doesn't seem it, it was the most enjoyable experience I've ever had on set."

"It's only fair that we made Olivia cry," says Laverne, "because she made us cry first."

18:43 

Finally among the main awards, it’s time for the big one: Best Film, presented by Sky Movies. Yes, the film that YOU, the Empire reader, voted your favourite of the past year. And as it’s such a massive, impressive category, we thought we’d get a massive, impressive presenter to award the honours, so the mighty Dolph Lundgren is here to do the job. Now sure, he looks like a brick wall with fists that could knock you into the middle of next year ("he punched Carl Weathers to death!" as our Chris puts it), but we had him in for a webchat and he was a delight. He also made his way speedily to the stage, giving him time to raise the mic about a foot so it's on his level.

Lundgren: "It's lovely to be here, and I want to thank my beautiful daughter for being my date tonight. I love London so thanks for having me over. And that's more dialogue than my last five films."

And the winner is: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART TWO
It's a last hurrah for the Potter series, as the wizarding series takes the big prize. David Yates, Bonnie Wright, Evanna Lynch and Matthew Lewis are here to take this one back to Hogwarts home.

Yates: "We worked for so long and hard to finish the final movie, and I think our memories are working in the snow and rain and winter to finish it, so we're very pleased that it's been so well received."

There's also a little message from Daniel Radcliffe who couldn't be here today. "I'd like to thank the Empire readers for voting for us. I've always been quite a harsh judge of the series, but I was over the moon with this final film; I think we went out on a high note."

His video is interrupted by a heckle that sounds a lot like it came from a certain Mr C. O'Dowd, who cries "SHOW US YOUR TITS". Laverne kindly offers to show him hers instead. We recommend watching the message yourself below, but please refrain from shouting at your computer in an Irish brogue.

18:53 

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s time for the more woolly awards. You know, the awards for people we think are just generally awesome. First up is the Empire Inspiration Award, which is also being presented by two people we think are pretty awesome: Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Bruhl. Now those of you who are paying attention may immediately have a notion who this award might be going to, but let’s see how Hemsworth and Bruhl can enlighten us…

Hemsworth: "The winner of this year's award has achieved the impossible: he's lived in Hollywood his entire life and remained a completely decent human being. From starring in the Andy Griffith show at age 5 to narrating Arrested Development, he's a very fine actor and comedian."

Bruhl: "But it is as a director that we know him best, and over 20 feature films he's become an American great."

Hemsworth: "He has thrilled audiences and won awards. Actors queue up to work with him, knowing he'll make them look good...Shit, I had another line there. Scroll back...AND he worked with Russell Crowe twice. The man made Apollo 13, and for that alone he deserves this award."

Bruhl: "I can't wait to see what he does with us and Formula One."

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's RON HOWARD who's our Inspiration this year and Hemsworth and Bruhl are starring in his new film Rush. Their intro may have been pleasantly shambolic, but we have a feeling they rehearse a lot more for their day job. Now for the winner! Is it wrong to hope the speech sounds like an Arrested Development narration?

Howard: "I was told this would be a fun night and it really is. Guys, don't worry about the speech; we'll fix it in post. Also thanks to Team Rush, we're here in force. I'm having another great shooting experience here. The first one I made here was Willow, which was around the time that Empire was first published. And don't think I don't read the magazine, I do, all the time. When I'm in it."

Great speech - he even brings up (and owns!) the "shitty reviews" we've given some of his films, proving he's as big as you'd hope. And yes, Arrested Development-y.

19:01 

For our penultimate prize, it’s only getting more exciting. Jameson Irish Whiskey is responsible for the Empire Hero award this year, and a screenwriter both kick-ass and Kick-Ass is here to present it, in the shapely shape of Jane Goldman. This one goes to "an actor in their prime" to acknowledge their body of work. And this particular recipient has had a hell of a year.

Goldman: "The winner this year has often been described as sex on legs, but as it happens he's also intelligence, charm, passion and vulnerability on legs as well. Film has always been his passion - he appeared in a stage version of Reservoir Dogs 14 years ago; since then he's appeared in a Tarantino film. Whatever the genre, he grounds his characters in reality. He lost 3 stone in Hunger, he spanked Keira Knightley in A Dangerous Method and in Shame he bared all. But in each case he transcends actorly stunts. But perhaps his greatest performance of the last 12 months is the patience he's shown in the face of continual questions from journalists about his physical assets."

Yes, the winner is MICHAEL FASSBENDER.
Fassbender: "Well, this is kind of unusual, because I always wanted to be a superhero. The first job I wanted to do was be Superman, so a hero award makes it official now, thanks to Empire. It's a magazine I actually always did read and follow as a film fan. And Jameson is my favourite whiskey, so this is pretty special!"

We highly recommend watching this speech as well for his definition of "male heroism". "Someone's getting free Jameson forever," notes Laverne.

19:13 

Last but as far from least as one can get, it’s the Empire Legend award. Coincidentally enough, another legend is here to present it. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s only Danny DeVito.

True story: on the red carpet earlier, DeVito took a baby in his arms and posed with the tot for the press, shouting “Vote for me!” We’re hoping it was a reference to Batman Returns, because that would be awesome on several levels as you’ll soon see. For the record, unlike the Penguin, DeVito returned the child unharmed. Following Lundgren earlier, we have to lower the mic a little. DeVito starts off without it, for laughs.

DeVito: "Thanks doll! I'm here for Tim, Tim Burton. I mean, it's a coincidence that I'm doing the Sunshine Boys at the Savoy Theatre, tickets on sale now. If anyone wants to leave during this, make a call, buy tickets, that's cool with us, right Tim? Tim and I did three movies together; the last one was Big Fish. I owned a circus and I was a werewolf, and that was really fun. It was the first movie where you got to see my ass onscreen. He said, 'There's gonna be a shot of the back of you.' You don't realise there are going to be 90 people watching. That would've been embarrassing, but I borrowed Fassbender's schlong so that was OK."

In this transcript, we're leaving out a long but awesome story about Batman Returns, the Penguin, a monkey, and Danny DeVito's balls. You must watch the video when it goes live!

Anyway, the winner, obviously, is TIM BURTON.
Burton: "Thank you very much. Sorry, I'm a little nervous, but that moose head on the wall [behind the stage] has been winking at me all night. There are two magazines: one was Famous Monsters Of Filmland, which I grew up with, and Empire. I love it, except I don't read the reviews."

19:14 

Ladies and gentlemen, that's our show. We're done! The 16th Jameson Empire Awards is over, which means our poor starving celebs can finally eat and we can finally try to scrounge up some sandwiches backstage. Good night, and good luck.


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Your Comments

RE: Still no love for Drive! What the hell is wrong with people?
L: S. C. Lee L: kitfisto Harry Potter was very enjoyable but anyone who thinks it was better than Drive or Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy is smoking crack! ever touched drugs in my life. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two is a better film than Drive or Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (which quite frankly bored me) and half it's audience, going by the reviews on Amazon. respectfully & strongly disagree - although I guess those who voted in the Empire awards predomina More

Posted by Qwerty Norris at 21:25 on 28 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: Still no love for Drive! What the hell is wrong with people?
L: kitfisto Harry Potter was very enjoyable but anyone who thinks it was better than Drive or Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy is smoking crack! ever touched drugs in my life. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two is a better film than Drive or Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (which quite frankly bored me) and half it's audience, going by the reviews on Amazon. More

Posted by S. C. Lee at 15:34 on 27 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: RE:
L: kdevitt L: S. C. Lee Once again, how have they lost credibility? They offered four / five films and people voted, now there's a winner. The Harry Potter films are British, with a British cast and a British director, they've made a lot of money and brought worldwide attention to this country (in a good way.) They've made eight films over ten years, eight damn impressive films from difficult source material. Sounds like a worthy winner to me. Hmm - average user rating fo More

Posted by S. C. Lee at 15:30 on 27 March 2012 | Report This Post

Still no love for Drive! What the hell is wrong with people?
Harry Potter was very enjoyable but anyone who thinks it was better than Drive or Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy is smoking crack! Readers of Empire, you have let yourselves down More

Posted by kitfisto at 14:52 on 27 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: RE:
L: S. C. Lee Once again, how have they lost credibility? They offered four / five films and people voted, now there's a winner. The Harry Potter films are British, with a British cast and a British director, they've made a lot of money and brought worldwide attention to this country (in a good way.) They've made eight films over ten years, eight damn impressive films from difficult source material. Sounds like a worthy winner to me. sp; Hmm - average user rating for Harry Potter More

Posted by kdevitt at 07:26 on 27 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: RE:
Yey for Olivia Colman & Kill List. h for David Yates & Harry Potter? More

Posted by Qwerty Norris at 23:03 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: RE:
Not saying it was biased towards us Brits or anything it's just that the only 2 non Brit wins were not voted for? More

Posted by Wild about Wilder at 15:14 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE:
La la la, you're not listening - oh well, never mind, I have things to do... More

Posted by S. C. Lee at 15:02 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

So, no best actor nomination for Michael Fassbender, and Harry Potter beats both Drive and Tinker, Tailor for best film. I remember when the Empire Awards righted the wrongs of other awards shows. More

Posted by Toby Dammit at 14:56 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

So, no best actor nomination for Michael Fassbender, and Harry Potter beats both Drive and Tinker, Tailor for best film. I remember when the Empire Awards righted the wrongs of other awards shows. More

Posted by Toby Dammit at 14:56 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: RE:
L: kdevitt You've obviously been hit up by a few Harry Potter fan sites, and unfortunately lost a lot of credibility as a result. nce again, how have they lost credibility? They offered four / five films and people voted, now there's a winner. The Harry Potter films are British, with a British cast and a British director, they've made a lot of money and brought worldwide attention to this country (in a good way.) They've made eight films over ten years, eight damn impressive fi More

Posted by S. C. Lee at 14:37 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

Great work Empire...i love you guys More

Posted by TheColumnist at 11:21 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE:
Always enjoyed the Empire awards due to their ability to reward movies that other ceremonies didn't, and the fact they rewarded the best movies of the year. But seriously - Harry Potter? An exceptionally mediocre movie in a field of stand-outs (Drive got my vote!). You've obviously been hit up by a few Harry Potter fan sites, and unfortunately lost a lot of credibility as a result. More

Posted by kdevitt at 08:47 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

all my voting was directed at Drive and it won nothing. Disappointed. More

Posted by Dirtyfunkymonkey at 04:46 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: Ho Hum
L: wgfuzzydunlop1 Lots of Potter fans block-voting as usual. Very annoying. I'm willing to bet the big winner next year will be The Hunger Games... o because you don't like something it doesn't deserve to win? Block-voting, where's the proof? And on a separate note, Tim Burton = legend. More

Posted by S. C. Lee at 04:07 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: WTF!
I didn't vote but I'm happy that Potter won, it was a great end to a brilliant series of films. Really glad Felicity Jones won too. I thought Drive was completely overrated. More

Posted by S. C. Lee at 04:03 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

WTF!
Very, very disappointed with the results. Whats the point of me voting, feel as though i had wasted my vote. Won't be voting next year! Like to know what the team from empire thinks? I know they have no control of it, BUT PLEASE, COME ON!!!!!! More

Posted by jclee at 00:39 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
Very, very disappointed with the empire awards. Is there any point of me voting??? Won't be taking part next year! I like to know what does the team from empire thinks??? I know the team of empire have no control? BUT COME ON!!!! More

Posted by jclee at 00:32 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
Very, very disappointed with the empire awards. Is there any point of me voting??? Won't be taking part next year! I like to know what does the team from empire thinks??? I know the team of empire have no control? BUT COME ON!!!! More

Posted by jclee at 00:32 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

Yeah...
Potter didn't deserve any of the spotlight for me. No Drive wins, another travesty. No Dragon Tattoo love, I'm glad Gary Oldman won something though. I don't think this award show really reinstated any of the necessary validity for the right films this year. Let's hope next year is better. More

Posted by kingdom_key at 00:25 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: What the hell?!
I've pretty much lost faith in all awards ceremonies, except maybe the Kermode's. More

Posted by Spaldron at 00:13 on 26 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: What the hell?!
See you next year folks for the future joke that is the Empire Awards 2013, featuring Men in Black 3, Battleship and GI Joe 2 all battling it out for best film...Going on this year's results, just don't expect to see Prometheus or the Hobbit win anything... More

Posted by film man aidy at 23:53 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

What the hell?!
Are the Empire readers even film fans anymore?! Where on earth was the love for Drive?! Loved it - the best film i've seen for years. A pretty average Harry Potter episode, and the hugely disappointing Tinker Taylor wipe the floor with it?! The world has gone mad. I honestly thought that after the joke that was this year's oscars, the injustice done to Drive would be put right. Everyone who didn't vote for it deserves to be spoon fed franchise friendly, happy meal packaged movies for the rest o More

Posted by film man aidy at 23:40 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: What??
L: Coyleone Comeone people! We could have given Drive it's oh so deserved award and Harry Potter won best film? Jesus christ. onsidering how many people called it film of the year and voted for it I find it very odd that it lost to Potter. More

Posted by Spaldron at 22:52 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

RE: Odd
Harry Potter for best film, you're kidding right? More

Posted by Spaldron at 22:51 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

What??
Comeone people! We could have given Drive it's oh so deserved award and Harry Potter won best film? Jesus christ. More

Posted by Coyleone at 22:51 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Wow, I care so much I posted 3 times. Stupid error mesage More

Posted by helenfoan at 22:00 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Really??
I'm a massive fan of the HP books and have generally been pleased with the adaptations. However, I was thoroughly disappointed with the final film and thought it really under-played the sadness of the final book, had too many Death Eaters (too many gripes to mention). Cannot believe that it won Best Film. I don't think it's been a particularly classic year for film. Not yet seen Drive but expect that will be my film of the year. ATM I am with Planet Of The Apes! On a separate note, am I the on More

Posted by helenfoan at 21:53 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Really??
I'm a massive fan of the HP books and have generally been pleased with the adaptations. However, I was thoroughly disappointed with the final film and thought it really under-played the sadness of the final book, had too many Death Eaters (too many gripes to mention). Cannot believe that it won Best Film. I don't think it's been a particularly classic year for film. Not yet seen Drive but expect that will be my film of the year. ATM I am with Planet Of The Apes! On a separate note, am I the on More

Posted by helenfoan at 21:53 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Really??
I'm a massive fan of the HP books and have generally been pleased with the adaptations. However, I was thoroughly disappointed with the final film and thought it really under-played the sadness of the final book, had too many Death Eaters (too many gripes to mention). Cannot believe that it won Best Film. I don't think it's been a particularly classic year for film. Not yet seen Drive but expect that will be my film of the year. ATM I am with Planet Of The Apes! On a separate note, am I the on More

Posted by helenfoan at 21:52 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

No DRIVE?
I'm very embarrassed... More

Posted by gracliper at 21:51 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

And you readers think the Oscars are a joke
I'll start by saying I don't mind that that none of the winners, other than Gary Oldman and Tom Hiddleston, where what I picked. What really stunned me was that you managed to pick some of the worst winners out of the nominees. It's quite clear that most ( not all by any means) of the voters were so up themselves that they felt they just had to pick as many BRITISH nominees as they could bear. Harry Potter should not have been within a mile of these awards, I think we can agree with that. And ye More

Posted by LFCLavery at 21:19 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

And you readers think the Oscars are a joke
I'll start by saying I don't mind that that none of the winners, other than Gary Oldman and Tom Hiddleston, where what I picked. What really stunned me was that you managed to pick some of the worst damn winners out of the nominees. It's quite clear that most ( not all by any means) of the voters were so up themselves that they felt they just had to pick as many BRITISH nominees as they could bear. Harry Potter should not have been within a mile of these awards, I think we can agree with that. A More

Posted by LFCLavery at 21:19 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

And you readers think the Oscars are a joke
I'll start by saying I don't mind that that none of the winners, other than Gary Oldman and Tom Hiddleston, where what I picked. What really stunned me was that you managed to pick some of the worst damn winners out of the nominees. It's quite clear that most ( not all by any means) of the voters were so up themselves that they felt they just had to pick as many BRITISH nominees as they could bear. Harry Potter should not have been within a mile of these awards, I think we can agree with that. A More

Posted by LFCLavery at 21:19 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Why was there no nods for Warrior?? Yet Potter wins?? Get a f'ing grip people!! More

Posted by J_BUltimatum at 20:55 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

I agree with BB- fucking harry potter!!!!!!! >=(
Why the fucking fuck did harry potter get best director- why!!! surely the guy who directed Drive should be recognised for his talents- i agree with the two other guys who commented- the results were a let down why harry potter you fucking twat- I wish you were the boy who died"!!!!! I was rooting for Voldermort in the boring parts of your final film!! Which was a teeny bit of a let down- you fuck!!!! More

Posted by lewisb548 at 20:46 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Ho Hum
Lots of Potter fans block-voting as usual. Very annoying. I'm willing to bet the big winner next year will be The Hunger Games... More

Posted by wgfuzzydunlop1 at 20:42 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

Come on guys, Harry Potter? Seriously? I've nothing against it, but our one chance to recognize Drive and we give it to Harry-freakin'-Potter instead? That's an insult. Also not quite sure how Hugo didn't get best 3D, but hey ho, I'm pretty surprised by all of the results... More

Posted by Whistler at 19:38 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post

GODDAMN IT!!!!
I can't believe POTTER won the two main prizes. David Yates is a f***ing moron. He only directed these as a quick way to enter the film business. I really hate him. His direction on the POTTER films was dull. Where you people smoking on high?! More

Posted by bb at 18:50 on 25 March 2012 | Report This Post


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