Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Search   
Empire Magazine and iPad
Follow Me on Pinterest YouTube Tumblr
Empire
Trending On Empire
Empire's New Tom Cruise Cover
The Jameson Empire Awards 2014
Vote: The Greatest 301 Movies Of All Time!
Rebecca Hall:
My Movie Life

The actress picks the movies that shaped her
Mountain Dew Green Screen
Register Now to see X-MEN First Class!
Movie News

LATEST HEADLINES
TODAY
Mrs Doubtfire Sequel Heats Up Again
Robin Williams could be back in the make-up
First Poster For The Equalizer
Denzel Washington walks the line
More Movie News

RELATED NEWS
13 April 2014
James Cameron Offers An Avatar Sequel Update
The scripts are close to finished
More Movie News

RELATED REVIEWS
Avatar (2009)
Empire Star Rating
More new cinemas releases
DVD & Blu-ray releases

Hustler To Make Porno Avatar
The game changer just got even more blue

19 January 2010  |  Written by Chris Hewitt  |  Source: Hustler

submit to reddit

Well, we always thought it would come (fnar), but at long, long (really long) last, a porno version of James Cameron’s Avatar is on the way.

Those mucky fiddlers over at Hustler have just announced that they will make This Ain’t Avatar XXX as part of their forthcoming line-up of porn parodies of top films and TV shows. It may not be a game-changer, but it will be a pants changer. Ahem.

Also, no word on whether it’ll be shot in 3D, although we sincerely hope not. One thing's for sure, though - it'll Kleenex up at the box office.

But we won’t just be taking on a magical journey to an exotic land where blue people roger each other rotten. We can also XXX-pect fun sexy times with This Ain’t Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (the mind boggles at this one), This Ain’t Glee XXX and This Ain’t CSI XXX: Chatsworth.

This follows rock-hard on the heels (and other parts) of their wildly successful This Ain’t Star Trek XXX, the sequel to which will be, ahem, released in April.

Of course Empire, being a good family website, has never seen or heard of any of these films, and we’re reliably informed that if you do, you’ll go blind. But then we’ve been hearing that old wives’ tale for years and it’s never done us any ld;o298kn.
 

Thanks to those sexxxed-up mofos at Latino Review for the heads-up.
 


Have Your Say
To comment on this, and all articles, register for free or login now.

Tim Burton To Make Sleeping Beauty?
Told from the bad fairy's point of view
Todd Field Accepts The Creed Of Violence
Update: He's got the funds to make it

Your Comments

The perfect name for Avatar Porn is:
I Dream Of AvatarXXX More

Posted by Bigpappa at 00:24 on 27 March 2010 | Report This Post

The name
I'm italian! this is the name! Avatass More

Posted by andreda82 at 19:24 on 24 January 2010 | Report This Post

Proposal of a title...
Maybe the title "AVATHARD" is too trivial...but sounds funny More

Posted by frankd at 00:04 on 22 January 2010 | Report This Post

RE: solglow
Great news! Paint Amia Moretti & Misty Stone blue & they'll make really hot Na'vi! More

Posted by Monkeyshaver at 18:35 on 21 January 2010 | Report This Post

RE: solglow
Hopefully this version has a better story and characters and perhaps dialogue. More

Posted by Ste7enForever at 15:21 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

solglow
I actually find a lot of things funny, just not porn and it's industry. I understand that Empire have a tongue placed firmly in cheek in the article. It's my opinion and i'm sure you've got your own. So thanks for trying to make a tit out of me solglow. There'll be plenty of those in the film. ; ) More

Posted by Matthew Field at 12:52 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

Matthew Field...
clearly has no sense of humour.... More

Posted by solglow at 12:22 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

At least this one will have nipples! More

Posted by bradthunder at 11:21 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

hahahahaha this is a jks article More

Posted by plum bob at 10:27 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

hahahahaha this is a jks article More

Posted by plum bob at 10:27 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

Oh Dear
Empire clearly have to promote and cover Avatar anywhere the name comes up. Oh dear.......... More

Posted by Matthew Field at 09:54 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

''It may not be a game-changer, but it will be a pants changer. Ahem.'' haha you genuinely make me lol sometimes Chris, i love you More

Posted by Zimbo at 03:11 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

"DO YOU RESPECT WOOD?!"
HA! On second thoughts, that Curb porno could be ace! More

Posted by chizmund at 01:17 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

Curb Porn?!
That is a puzzler. And whatever about the Larry character shaggin', I shudder at the thought of any potential Jeff/Susie scenes... More

Posted by chizmund at 01:16 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

the special effects will be shit
but it'll have more artistic credibility. seriously though folks, a porno 'Curb...'? What pained mind thought that one up? More

Posted by Knight of Fury at 00:04 on 20 January 2010 | Report This Post

Really Empire?
Is there really so little going on in the world of cinema that you need to turn to this kind of material to report on? Do you really think this is worth it? Children read this website. What about more of world cinema? More

Posted by oneworldfamily at 22:53 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

''It may not be a game-changer, but it will be a pants changer. Ahem.'' haha you genuinely make me lol sometimes Chris, i love you More

Posted by Zimbo at 22:19 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

''It may not be a game-changer, but it will be a pants changer. Ahem.'' haha you genuinely make me lol sometimes Chris, i love you More

Posted by Zimbo at 21:30 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

you have got to be shitting me
really? REALLY?! i just lost faith in humanity More

Posted by ieatlions at 19:40 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

you have got to be shitting me
really? REALLY?! i just lost faith in humanity More

Posted by ieatlions at 19:39 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

Pornotar
this'll do well, as it seems like most Avaturds are a bunch of.. well... More

Posted by SpiderBat at 19:11 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

what !?
i really dont understand why any part of the porn industry has to take a very well made film and then make a shite parody of it just to make some cash, it makes no sense to me, why not stick to basics and have the hot house wife and the mischievous plumber two minutes of crap plot then 48 minutes of...well need i say more ? More

Posted by hazzerpirate17 at 17:52 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

Reviews?
More

Posted by danbo1138 at 17:41 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

Who Cares?
Really? More

Posted by The Kevmiester at 17:35 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

We've already got an Avatar porno - Empire More

Posted by ThismonkeyhasRAGE at 17:21 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post

Cue gags about Pandora's box.
Will it be in Thighmax 3D? More

Posted by granny at 17:13 on 19 January 2010 | Report This Post


CURRENT HIGHLIGHTS
Ten Things To Know About The Spooks Movie
Under the hood of The Greater Good

Who’s In Spider-Man’s Sinister Six?
A bluffer’s guide to the planned spin-off from the Amazing Spider-films

14 YouTube Videos Every Game Of Thrones Fan Should Have Watched By Now
From goats singing the theme tune to every death in under three minutes

Hollywood's Biggest Names On Their Favourite Films
Stars and directors like Nolan, Whedon, Wright and Ford on the films that inspire them

The Remake Report: Hollywood's Do-Overs Coming Our Way
The redoes, remakes, reboots, reworkings and reimaginings headed our way…

The Nebraska Playlist
Alexander Payne programmes a movie marathon for us

More Found Footage: Another 25 Trailers That Tease Missing Scenes
Further sequences that disappeared between promo and final cut

Subscribe to Empire iPad edition
Get The Empire iPad Edition Today

Subscribe and save money on annual digital subscription

Subscribe today
Buy single issues

Subscribe to Empire magazine
Get Limited Edition Collectable X-Men Art Cards

Subscribe today and get 6 issues of Empire plus a set of collectable X-Men Art Cards for only £20!

Subscribe today

Get 12 Issues Of Empire For Just £25
Receive limited edition subscribers-only covers every month Subscribe today!
Empire's Film Studies 101 Series
Everything you ever wanted to know about filmmaking but were afraid to ask...
The Empire iPad Edition
With exclusive extras, interactive features, trailers and much more! Download now
Home  |  News  |  Blogs  |  Reviews  |  Future Films  |  Features  |  Interviews  |  Images  |  Competitions  |  Forum  |  iPad  |  Podcast  |  Magazine Contact Us  |  Empire FAQ  |  Subscribe To Empire  |  Register
© Bauer Consumer Media Ltd  |  Legal Info  |  Privacy Policy  |  Bauer Entertainment Network
Bauer Consumer Media Ltd (company number 01176085 and registered address 1 Lincoln Court, Lincoln Road, Peterborough, England PE1 2RF)