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Universal Readies Asteroids: The Movie
But April 1 was three months ago!

02 July 2009  |  Written by Chris Hewitt  |  Source: The Hollywood Reporter

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Universal Readies Asteroids: The Movie

In news that really shouldn’t surprise us, because Hollywood comes up with stuff ten times stupider than this on a daily basis, Universal has announced plans to turn the classic arcade shoot-‘em-up, Asteroids, into a big-budget tentpole.

Yes, that’s right. Asteroids, the incredibly simplistic game where a lone spaceship defends Earth from big bulky rocks, is going to become a movie. A real movie, with actors in it and sets and cameras recording the actors and the sets and everything.

Now, we may scoff, but this thing does have some potential to make a fairly decent wham-bam actioner along the lines of Armageddon. So much so that four studios – four – were bidding for the rights from Atari.

Universal, obviously, won that battle (which, sadly, didn’t come in the form of a King Of Kong style Asteroids face-off) and has placed the property in the care of Transformers’ Lorenzo di Bonaventura, a man who knows a thing or two about taking seemingly tricky properties and turning them into audience catnip.

That said, we’re a little sorry for the poor bastard who has to try to forge a compelling narrative and characters out of a couple of blurry lines going bleep bleep at each other. And that poor bastard is Matthew Lopez, the in-demand writer behind Race To Witch Mountain, Bedtime Stories and The Sorceror’s Apprentice. We wish him all the best – still, at the very least, the research is going to be fun.


 


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Your Comments

RE: Universal Readies Asteroids: The Movie
I cant see this film working at all, it just sounds like a very bad idea. Who makes the decision to make these films and who do they think will watch them? Do they learn nothing from experience?? More

Posted by LeeLeeLeeLee at 19:13 on 03 July 2009 | Report This Post

The Last Starfighter?
Wonder if it will be anything like The Last Starfighter. More

Posted by __ at 12:47 on 03 July 2009 | Report This Post

Jet Set Willy
Go on... More

Posted by cheds at 18:48 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Why would anyone have to bid to use the word "Asteroids" in a movie title. Do Atari really have copyright on that word...? More

Posted by DouglasW at 17:32 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Good lord!
Why not make a film version of Horace Goes Skiing? Seth Rogen could play Horace. More

Posted by DocEmmettBrown at 13:35 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

"THIS HOLIDAY SEASON....
one frog is gonna have to jump to it, to rescue the spawn he loves...FROGGER!!!! when danger calls, you have to "hop" to it... More

Posted by chola1 at 13:34 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

"why not give millions of dollars to some c**t to make Noughts n' Crosses: The Revenge!" Sounds good - I'm in! More

Posted by mrwinky99 at 13:02 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Oh For F**k's Sake....
...what the hell? why not give millions of dollars to some c**t to make Noughts n' Crosses: The Revenge! More

Posted by Snake-Eyes at 12:59 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Oh come now, surely its time for Duck Hunt? One man's genocide of feathered water fowl; the twist being its all a ruse to make the murder of his annoying pooch by shotgun to the face look like an accident. It could be Michael Moore's retelling of Dick Cheney's gun related mishap. More

Posted by woody1812 at 12:30 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Why, why, why!
Why spend time and money on that. Why not try getting Halo or Metal Gear Solid made. Something worth watching. Zack Snyder to direct Metal Gear and Pete Jackson/Neill Blomkamp for Halo. More

Posted by markb8098 at 11:58 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Not so bad
<<we’re a little sorry for the poor bastard who has to try to forge a compelling narrative and characters out of a couple of blurry lines going bleep bleep at each other.>> Why? He has complete freedom beyond the very basic premise. It's essentially an original screenplay. Unlike a screenplay for Tomb Raider, Resident Evil or whatever he doesn't have hoops to jump through to make sure the fans are happy. Most interviews I've ever read have said that writers enjoy writing ori More

Posted by homerbert at 11:18 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Eh?
"So much so that four studios – four – were bidding for the rights from Atari." I just don't get this. All that happens in Asteroids is a spaceship shoots lasers at rocks in space - I've already seen that in a couple of Star Wars movies. So what are they bidding for exactly? I can only assume it's the right to use the title 'Asteroids'? Which is pretty dumb, even for Tinseltown. More

Posted by Rumbaabaa at 09:49 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

Michael Bay to direct
The only thing that happens in Asteroids are big and small rocks being blown up so a movie adaption is right up his alley (hopefully along with a large, lit stick of dynamite). More

Posted by Taz69 at 09:19 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

ooty
waste of time and money. More

Posted by ooty at 09:15 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

What's next?
Pong, the story of one bat's desire to break free of his 2D prison? Tetris, a romantic triangle between a square, a long bit, and a T shape? Snake, a coming of age story where the titular character must overcome her desire to eat everything before she grows to big for her prom dress? No, my money is on Super Mario Bros, where a short fat Italian Plumber falls down pipes and stuff and.........oh, hang on! More

Posted by Tokkas100 at 09:03 on 02 July 2009 | Report This Post

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