Long Good Friday Being Remade And you'll never guess who's directing Source: Screen Daily
This story would have been up sooner, but we had to break some stuff and scream at the heavens until we were hoarse. Screen International this morning reported that British gangster classic and sole memorable big screen outing of Charlie from Casualty, The Long Good Friday, is being remade. And....[deep breath]...it's being directed by...[count to ten]...Paul. W. S. Anderson. There, we said it. That's the hardest part.
Anderson, who brought us the joys of Resident Evil and Alien Vs Predator to name but two, is to direct the $50 million production for Handmade Films and Impact Pictures.
But, if you haven't already driven a stake through the heart of your computer for bring you such dire news, there is more. Where the original, brilliant film was a shocking, riveting look at the British gangster scene and featured stunning performances from Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren, the new version will be relocated to Miami. Great. Fantastic, Paul. Why don't you cast Don Johnson and a pair of plastic boobs with a slippery grasp of the English language, just to finish it off? And maybe smear a little dog poo on the print?
"The Long Good Friday was an astonishing view of 1980s gangland that shocked audiences with its urban crime and violence," said Anderson in Cannes, while singularly failing to beat himself viciously about the head and neck. "I am delighted to have the opportunity to put a new spin on this classic film which promises to reveal today's underworld in an equally shocking fashion."
In slightly less ragesome news, Handmade is planning this as a first of a series of remakes. Larry Clark is expected to redo Mona Lisa (why does Handmade wish to entirely erase Bob Hoskins from the cinematic landscape?). We're not doing backflips about that one, but Larry Clark is talented so we expect at least an interesting take. A big bucks remake of Terry Gilliam's Time Bandits is also planned. Hopefully someone better than Anderson will be secured for that. Like, a rake perhaps. Or a slightly dented baked bean can.
Thanks to ScreenDaily for the scoop.
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As much as this is grinding all our gears, i'm now a little intrigued to see how this is gonna turn out. I mean we all know it's gonna be bad. But just i] bad will it be? The anticipation is killing me! ... Read More
Guys why get so wound up? At the end of the day u still have the original, so it dont matter how this turns out and lets be honest the majority of those who are dreading this remake will see it. I aint saying im for it but its just i dont give a shit, yeah Hollywood is going haywire with remakes but its a fad and will die down, I wish they would remake bad films though instead of good ones. That said though, look at this I mean Halloween is out this year and at first I thought WTF but then saw ... Read More
L: demoncleaner
L: Leomuse
Next up:
Renny Harlin's The Man in the White Suit
Brett Ratner's Quadrophenia
Wimmer's Matrix? Oh, no wait...
It was interesting to see the Cannes video diary and hear one of the Handmade honchos say that Anderson is a great writer. Clairvoyance surley? I am however swayed somewhat in agreement with Chris Hewitt's caveat that for all Anderson's faults he do Event Horizon. All we need now is for 'Arold Shand to go... Read More
L: Leomuse
Next up:
Renny Harlin's The Man in the White Suit
Brett Ratner's Quadrophenia
Wimmer's Matrix? Oh, no wait...
It was interesting to see the Cannes video diary and hear one of the Handmade honchos say that Anderson is a great writer. Clairvoyance surley? I am however swayed somewhat in agreement with Chris Hewitt's caveat that for all Anderson's faults he do Event Horizon. All we need now is for 'Arold Shand to gouge his own fucking ... Read More
i dont care if empire cancel my account and never let me have another one. i am sick and tired of paul (i have two middle names but choose to abbreviate them) anderson. when is going to do something original is he trying to beat uwe boll as the worst director of all time can he go as far as Ed wood?. i admit event horizon was good and he could have taken his career along an interesting route, instead he chose video game adaptations and now remakes. i managed to suppress my anger when 'the italia... Read More
Fast forward 9 months. you're sitting in the cinema ready to watch this, the titles roll and.................... and Francis Monkmans' theme tune DOESN'T start. In that single defining moment, you'll know exactly how stupid this idea to remake TLGF is.
Maybe if it is a flop they'll redub it back into Cockney, and ask Bob Hoskins to do it.....mmmm that's good irony........ ... Read More
