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Only Vin Can Save Us!
Diesel to save the world in The Retriever

05 August 2005  |  Written by   

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It is a truth universally acknowledged that Vin Diesel can do anything. You don't even have to visit the Vin Diesel Random Fact Generator to learn that the slapheaded one is capable of curing cancer while executing a perfect triple Salchow, reciting Shakespeare and painting a perfect copy of the Mona Lisa. But in addition to all these considerable skills, Vin is about to singlehandedly save the world from nuclear apocalypse in The Retriever.

The story apparently centres around a group of Russian terrorists (yawn) who get their grubby, democracy-hating hands on a Doomsday device abandoned at Chernobyl in the wake of the accident there. With nothing to lose, they don their radiation suits, retrieve it and threaten to use it to extinguish all life on Earth, unless their dreadful demands are met.

Can no one stop them? Are we all doomed? Well, not if Vin has anything to say about it, as he will apparently save the world "in a James Bond manner". We're not sure what that means, but somehow we doubt that he'll be wearing a tuxedo and drinking a vodka martini as he does it – we're seeing more of the "lone wolf" angle.

While the combination of the words "Vin Diesel" and "Bond" in the same sentence may cause terrifying flashbacks to xXx, we're sure that this will be an entirely different sort of world-saving action film. And after the (we're told) more intellectual diversions of Find Me Guilty, and his planning on the long-mooted Hannibal, we're glad to see Vin back to kicking ass and taking names.

We don't know much else about the film yet, but we will be keeping you up to date as we learn more.

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