| If we were the sort of puerile website that laughed at bodily functions and names that sounded rude, we’d get a whole lot of mileage out of the fact that Evan Rachel Wood and Alan Cumming have just been cast in Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark, the forthcoming Broadway musical based on Marvel’s webslinger. But we’re not, so we’re going to move on swiftly. After all, we kept a straight face when X-Men 2 was full of Cox and Cumming, so we’re not going to start giggling like schoolkids now that Spider-Man’s got Wood and has to try to stop Cumming.
Dammit! Anyway, to the facts. Yes, Wood has been cast as Peter Parker’s special angel, Mary-Jane Watson, while Cumming, the extraordinarily talented actor/singer/dancer, will be projecting his best snarl to Row ZZ as Spidey’s greatest nemesis, Norman Osborn, aka The Green Goblin. Wood has been linked with the role for ages – after all, she has worked with the show’s director, Julie Taymor, on their Beatles musical, Across The Universe, while there’s even a movement of Spider-Man fans who wouldn’t necessarily weep if she replaced Kirsten Dunst in the forthcoming Spider-Man 4. “Evan is unique: she is a young actress with incredible depth for both serious and comic drama in films and theatre,” said Taymor, in a statement. “And on top of that, she has an extraordinary lyrical voice. We are thrilled to have her as our Mary Jane.” Cumming, meanwhile, has also worked with Taymor before, on her Shakespeare adaptations Titus and The Tempest, and should make a suitably hissable Goblin; a far cry from his last brush with the Marvel Universe, when he played Nightcrawler in the aforementioned X-Men 2. “He has such range and such charisma as a performer that I feel confident his Green Goblin will bring many surprises that will move and entertain us,” added Taymor. Of course, the sudden movement on casting is all well and good, but Spidey’s webbing remains unceremoniously unfilled. Since the project was first announced, Jim Sturgess has been heavily linked with the role, even attending workshops for the musical along with Bono and The Edge, who’ll be writing the songs. We’re not sure if the absence of his name from this announcement means that Sturgess has passed on the musical, but we hope not. It would be a brave and bold thing for a rising movie star to commit to a Broadway musical just when he’s picking up some serious heat – but if Sturgess is worried about that, need we remind him that Hugh Jackman did the same thing in 2004 with The Boy From Oz, and it didn’t do him any harm… Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark, for which Empire is already planning a trip to New York, will open at the Hilton Theatre next year. Previews are scheduled to begin on February 25, with the official opening date yet to be announced. Tickets are now on sale – yay! – through Ticketmaster, but only to American Express cardholders. Boo! | 
