Three Review

Image for Three

The people - two men (Juan Pablo Di Pace and Billy Zane) and one woman (Kelly Brook) find themselves marooned on a paradise island. An idyllic existence soon gives way to tensions between the three.


Even the tiresomely frequent unveiling of the 148th wonder of the world, Kelly Brook’s knockers, can’t obscure the criminal ineptitude of this desert island-set farrago, in which Brook winds up stranded on a beach with jealous husband Jack (Zane) and muscle-bound ship’s mate Manuel (Di Pace). With no ship to be matey with, Manuel tries to get manual with Jack’s wife.

This causes tension, as do the endless rows over fish. Ms. Brook responds to the crisis by catching a bit of sun, while director Stewart Raffill (we’re in safe hands with the man responsible for Mannequin 2: On The Move) traces the source of their problems to Manuel’s witchy ex-girlfriend, whom we occasionally glimpse in the midst of a fit of the voodoo vapours. Sadly, all this makes it sound better than it is.

Appalling. With any luck it will put the kibosh on any further filmic ambitions Ms Brook may have.