Return To The Blue Lagoon Review

Ah! The Blue Lagoon. Home to wind-swept palms, shell-strewn beaches, the occasional bone-jangling native ritual and, “memorably”, the dappled young bodies of Brooke Shields and that curly-headed bloke as they discover the wonders of adulthood — ie. how to make babies. And now, 11 years later (hope you weren’t holding your breath), it has been deemed fit to make a sequel and — yes! — it’s exactly the same.

Except it’s not Brooke Shields. Brooke and Curly-Top, if you remember, were last seen with gurgling infant floating blissfully out to sea in a wooden dinghy. They are discovered in “Return” by a passing schooner, but only the baby’s alive. he’s adopted by young widow Sarah (Pelikan), who’s already got a baby girl and (surprise!) all three end up ship-wrecked back at Blue Lagoon island.

Cue “amusing” growing-up years where the young Richard (Ratliff) and Lilli (Barilla) ask their mother embarrassing questions about boys, girls, baby-making etc. in between youthful sun frolics. Sarah dies, the brats turn out beautiful, there’s the inevitable bit of salty rough and tumble and true lurve wins out over unkind civilisation . . .Exactly the same.

Dividing the camera work between lingering shots of the breathtaking Fijian scenery and lingering shots of Ms. Jorovich’s adolescent curves, (he chases sharks, she weaves mats). Krause’s enthusiasm and Jorovich’s pouting irritate after five minutes, so you’re left with the sun, sea and sand — very nice, but highly annoying if you’re stuck in Dear Old Blighty . One for pervs and frustrated holiday-makers only.