Love Bites Review

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Spending his summer bored in the seaside town of Rainmouth, Jamie's (Speleers) luck seems to be picking up when he meets sassy American traveller Juliana (Szohr). It's soon turns out that she's not quite what she seems.


A werewolf who only eats virgins stalks a miserable British seaside town and nice kid Jamie (Ed Speleers) falls for mystery American woman Juliana (Jessica Szohr) though a crazed monster-hunter (Timothy Spall) claims she’s the monster. The first hour is painful teenage gross-out comedy, like some misbegotten spawn of The In-Betweeners and Sex Lives of the Potato Men, then it trots through a weak Howling sequel skit. It joins that long line of British comedies without a single honest laugh in them, as the script drags down the struggling performers and obnoxiousness fails to be passed off as character comedy. A CGI creature shows up too late to enliven things, and too many of the too-annoying-to-live characters fail to get disembowelled. It makes Lesbian Vampire Killers seem like Kind Hearts And Coronets.

Another British comedy-horror that's unfunny and entirely the wrong kind of horrifying.