The Linguini Incident Review

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Bartender David Bowie and wannabe escapologist Rosanna Arquette team up to rob a restaurant called Dali, and strangle on a duff script.

Arquette demonstrates Frank Bruno's lightweight touch with comedy, while Bowie conveys the impression that he is the one man on earth who doesn't want to sleep with Arquette, which hardly helps him play opposite her as a romantic lead.

This should be a fast-paced, bitingly satirical caper, scoring points off horrible false sophisticates, but it's an unbearably protracted dud that indulges an in-crowd smugness by endorsing the ugliness and pretension it would presumably like to deflate.