Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is an incredible man. He is a wrestler. He is an actor. He is an entrepreneur. He is the physical embodiment of the hormone known as testosterone. He is the Platonic ideal of manhood. He is muscle incarnate. He once rode a giant bee in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. And crucially, he has a winning social media strategy: prolific, candid, and funny, he posts to a combined follower base of over 150 million – roughly the population of Russia. If you’re not following The Rock on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, here’s what you’re missing out on.
1. The Rock enjoys some pizza
If you smell what The Rock is cooking, you will on this occasion recognise that smell as pizza. The Rock didn’t actually cook any of these 12 pizzas – they were sent to him by his two agents to celebrate the fact that G.I. Joe: Retaliation made lots of money at the box-office. And obviously, when you’re The Rock and there are 12 pizzas to eat, you take your shirt off.
2. The Rock rescues some tiny dogs
Proving that he is the hero the world wants and believes him to be, The Rock once dived into his swimming pool to rescue his two French Bulldog puppies, Hobbs and Brutus, from drowning. So fearless and noble was The Rock that he gladly sacrificed the phone in his pocket to the chlorine-filled water for the sake of his pups. Hero.
3. The Rock in the '90s
Before he was a world-champion WWE wrestler or the eleventh richest star in Hollywood, The Rock was just another regular joe with a questionable taste in turtlenecks and a penchant for carrying his valuable possessions in a bum bag – or as Americans insist on calling it, ‘fanny pack’. This extraordinary early fossil of The Rock understandably caused a sensation on the internet and has inspired t-shirts, baby costumes, and even famous fans.
4. The Rock as a 16-year-old
Step back in time even further and you find The Rock looking like the mugshot from a particularly disturbing unsolved murder case. The Rock reminisces on life as a 16-year-old with the caption: “Ah, remembering the faces of all my high school girlfriends' parents meeting me for the first time. #6Foot4 #240lbs #DeepVoice #CreepyPornStache”
5. The Rock eating pancakes
The Rock is a healthy livin’ sort of guy. But even The Rock has cheat days. And when he cheats, he cheats big. Pancakes-stacked-as-high-as-skyscrapers big. Carbs-that-would-kill-a-small-child big. The Rock big.
6. The Rock meets some friendly horses
Everyone loves The Rock. Everyone, and everything. The birds in the sky. The fish in the sea. The beasts of the fields. These two horses, whom The Rock felt compelled to take a photo with. Truly, The Rock is the Francis of Assisi of extremely muscular actors.
7. The Rock makes an alarm clock
The Rock is too great to be contained by mere social media apps like Instagram or Facebook. He’s created his own app: an alarm clock that allows anyone to be woken up by The Rock, in his inimitable fashion. You can set it to wake up at the same time as The Rock (usually 5am – gotta hit that gym early); wake up to The Rock saying inspirational prompts like “it’s all you...you got this...”, or simply wake up to The Rock literally saying the words “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.”
8. The Rock carrying a bag the size of a small family car
It’s unclear why The Rock needs a bag this big, or what he keeps in there. Is that where he keeps his extended collection of gym equipment? Is there an extensive collection of barbells and a couple of incline bench presses? Are there actual rocks in there? Anyone would look ridiculous with a bag like that. Anyone, that is, except for The Rock.
9. The Rock as the Incredible Hulk
You might assume this vision of the Incredible Hulk was rendered by computers into CGI. You would be mistaken. This is The Rock. No CGI required. Take that, Ruffalo.
10. The Rock constantly doing his sleeve up
The internet noticed that The Rock likes to do his sleeves up when posing for photos. The Rock responded to the meme with the hashtag “#MyWristMusclesKeepBreakingTheCuffs”. The Rock is good at hashtags.
11. The Rock starring in a prison documentary called ‘Rock And A Hard Place’
The Rock presumably took television advice from Alan Partridge and plumped for the most perfectly obvious pun on his name to create this very serious documentary about prisons. This is real. Rock And A Hard Place. Do you get it? Because he’s called The Rock!
12. The Rock does a little dance
When warming down from a hard day’s slog at the gym, The Rock likes to do a little dance. The Rock is no slouch on the dance floor. Even when there is no dance floor. (We thoroughly recommend you click this link to watch the full glorious routine.)
13. The Rock shows off his legs, which he call ‘the beefs’
The Rock’s caption on this post: “Tonight we trained ‘the beefs’ – aka legs. I passed out after we took this pic from holding my breath and trying to look cool.”
14. The Rock plays a round of golf
Here, The Rock enjoys some downtime from starring in Ballers to hit some balls with his giant arms.
15. The Rock dresses up as a Pokemon
Those insisting that they gotta catch 'em all may have trouble attempting to catch this 6' 4" Pikachu in their Poké Balls.
16. The Rock is shocked
The Rock attended the 2017 Oscars in a natty velvet suit – and like the rest of Hollywood's great and good, was stunned to see La La Land mistakenly named as Best Picture. The last time he looked this shocked, the world was splitting apart from a giant earthquake.
17. The Rock buys his mother a car
Honour thy mother. Thus spaketh The Rock in his first commandment, and honour her he does, with this emotional Christmas present.
18. The Rock reveals the origin of 'The Rock'
In this startling insight into the personal life of The Rock, we learn that his famous moniker arose – so to speak – from the density of a young The Rock's nether regions. Our collective minds boggle at what must have been an earth-shattering minute-and-a-half. To paraphrase Flight Of The Conchords, "Ninety seconds in heaven is better than sixty seconds in heaven."
19. The Rock plays patty cake with a tiny child
Despite his imposing figure, The Rock is also clearly a thoroughly lovely man. He has a sensitive side. He has a gentle soul. He is kind to children. He will take time from his busy schedule to play patty cake. Maybe that’s why we all love him. He does it all. He is the ultimate person.
20. The Rock goes to the gym
And here, we see The Rock in his natural habitat. Hittin’ the gym at 4am. Sweat beads from every pore. Veins pulsating from every limb. The face of a man straining like he’s on the toilet. This is The Rock in his happy place. This is Peak The Rock. He wouldn’t want it any other way. We salute you, The Rock. Never change.
Thanks to Ellie Mortimer and Laura Hancock for help on this article