That’s right. They’re here. The 2016 Oscars have rolled around (was all that Neil Patrick Harris magic box nonsense really a year ago?) and we’re as excited as Leo on nominations day.
Stick with Empire as we guide you along the red carpet, laugh and cry with the winners and losers (though that may just be the post-midnight delirium setting in), and attempt to pinch one or two things from the goodie bags.
Will it be a lovely day for George Miller? Will the standing ovation for DiCaprio’s long-overdue win last longer than 24 hours? Keep hitting your refresh button to find out.
For more Academy Awards fun and games, follow us on Twitter (@empiremagazine) and Instagram (also, @empiremagazine). Our final list of predictions (and more on the science behind it all) can be found here. All other coverage from tonight (including photo galleries) are right this way.
We'll see you at the after party.
It's only right to start the red carpet with Best Supporting nominee, Alicia Vikander. "[Jason Bourne] just wrapped! Every woman has always told me how wonderful [Matt Damon] is and he’s totally bad-ass, too."
Room's Jacob Tremblay, hands in his Armani pockets, is making hearts melt on the red carpet. “I can see lots of legs! That’s my perspective.” Literally, yes, this is true. “It’s pretty exciting because I watch the Oscars every year. Last year I rooted for Eddie Redmayne and then he won! I want Brie to win! And Lenny [Abrahamson] and Emma [Donoghue], so hopefully they’ll win.”
As for that recent Instagram post where he was jokingly punching Sylvester Stallone? “I punched him in the face because he took my place in Best Supporting.” At least the kid’s honest.
No sight of Jennifer Lawrence yet. Will she trip? Won't she trip? NOBODY KNOWS. (Yes, she probably will.)
Oh hi there, The Revenant fans. Hoping the film will win Best Picture? Well here's a bit of trivia for you: if it takes the big prize tonight, it will be the first time a non-Best Ensemble SAG nominee won Best Picture in 20 years. So there.
"I remember being profoundly moved by [The Danish Girl script], unlike anything I’d ever read before… I just thought Alicia was formidable in it.” The effortlessly charming Best Actor nominee Eddie Redmayne, ladies and gents.
Olivia Munn has a sword closet! We repeat: Olivia Munn has a sword closet! And no, that’s not a terrible euphemism, she’s just worked with them a lot whilst shooting X-Men: Apocalypse. Check her Instagram to see her fighting Ryan Reynolds with a balloon. (Seriously.)
Margot Robbie alert! She’s rocking some sort of gold, metallic concoction. We’ve only seen the top half so far. We’ll keep you posted on the bottom. So to speak.
Hello Brie Larson in your royal blue, floaty, princess-y Oscar-winning dress. (It’s Gucci, if you’re asking.) Said dress is going to look great in the winners’ photos later, put it that way. So how is the soon-to-be-Best-Actress-winner feeling? "This has been a dream since I was seven years old! It’s all very trippy and very cool."
Apparently Liev Schreiber chose wife Naomi Watts' dress tonight. Strong choice, sir.
Matt Damon has found his way back from Mars to talk about his experience on The Martian. “It’s just all gravy at this point! [The Martian] was one of the most joyful experiences that I ever had. It wasn’t The Revenant!”
Julianne Moore is rooting for Stallone, if you’re asking. You were? Good.
Cate Blanchett, your dress is a thing of absolute wonder. Incredible stuff. It seems as if the nominated leading ladies are all opting for blues and greens tonight.
Ten minutes until showtime, people. Ten minutes. Use this as an excuse to top your glasses up. You're welcome.
Oh hi there, Empire's very own Helen O'Hara! (If you're watching on Sky, that is.)
BB-8 unveiled an Oscar to kick off this year’s montage. Look! It’s John Boyega! And Ryan Gosling! And Tom Hanks! And those infuriating Minions! Even Kingsman gets a look in - and we’re ok with that.
That’s right, the 88th Academy Awards are a go.
Welcome to the stage, Chris Rock, “I counted at least fifteen black people in that!… If they nominated the host I wouldn’t even get this job - you’d all be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now!” Kevin Hart is LAPPING this up, people.
On this year’s controversy: “Why this Oscars? It’s the 88th Academy Awards. Which means this whole ’no black nominees thing has happened at least 71 other times!”
"What happened this year? People went mad! Everyone went mad! Jada got mad… Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties: I wasn’t invited!”
“This year at the Oscars things are going to be a little bit different. In the In Memoriam package it’s just going to be black people that were shot by the cops on their way to the movies. Yes, yes, I said it, alright?”
“Look, if you want black nominees every year you need black categories. You already do it with men and women. There’s no real reason! It’s not track-and-field, you don’t have to separate them. Robert De Niro’s never said ‘I’ve got to slow this acting down so Meryl Streep can catch up’.”
“We’ve got a black Rocky this year! And Rocky takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black athletes. Rocky is a science-fiction movie.”
“My favourite actor is Paul Giamatti. Last year he’s in 12 Years A Slave: hates black people. This year he’s in Straight Outta Compton loving black people. Now that’s range.”
“Leo gets a great part every year and you guys get great parts all the time. What about Jamie Foxx? Jamie Foxx was so good in Ray that they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles.”
Best opening monologue in a really long time? Ohhh yes.
Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron are here to award Best Original Screenplay. As expected, it's Spotlight's. Will it also get the night's final, biggest prize? Stick with Empire to find out.
Russell Crowe and Ryan 'Baby Goose' Gosling are here to announce Best Adapted Screenplay and are attempting banter. The nominee VTs remind us how much we need to see Carol again. Cate Blanchett really is perfect, isn't she?
But anyway, The Big Short (again, expectedly), takes this one. This is Spotlight's biggest competition for Best Picture tonight. WHO'S IT GOING TO BE, YOU GUYS?
Adam McKay is super-tall and super-happy (and got a bit political. But it's ok, he's cool).
Whoopi Goldberg is the woman telling Jennifer Lawrence what to do in Joy. Leslie Jones is the bear beating up Leo. Ohhh, we see what’s going on here. We like this sketch montage. Tracy Morgan is Eddie Redmayne. (We implore you to watch this: incredible scenes.) Chris Rock is stuck on Mars. But not really. (And what the shit was that Stacey Dash stuff about? Eek.)
Sarah Silverman is introducing Sam Smith. She's got some serious beef with Bond. Apparently he never called her back. We think there's some serious adlibbing going on here. (Help?)
Sam Smith's got a great swaying technique going on. May have to try this at the next Empire karaoke. (Especially if it helps with that falsetto.)
SUPERMAN'S HERE. And can someone cast Kerry Washington in a superhero film already? (Yes, we chose to forget that one.) Kerry and Henry Cavill are here to talk us through some more Best Picture nominees. QUICK, TIME TO GRAB A DRINK!
J.K. Simmons is here! And he's not scary like in Whiplash as he's got a fluffy beard and a twinkle in his eye. He's here to pass on the award for Best Supporting Actress.
Alicia Vikander beats off stiff competition to win for her role in The Danish Girl. What a way to top off an incredible year for the Swede. (And yes, she did just plant a cheeky smacker on ol' Fassbender.)
"Eddie [Redmayne], thank you for being the best acting partner, I couldn’t have done it without you - you raised my game."
Chris Rock after a short break: "wow, we're black". Lolz.
Cate Blanchett's doing a living museum thing with costumes. That'll be her ready to announce Best Costume, then.
Jenny "what another lovely day" Beavan takes it for Mad Max: Fury Road. The back of her jacket is bejewelled like one of the convoy's steering wheels. We love it.
Oh hi, Steve Carell and Tina Fey! Could you two maybe host one day? For now, awarding Best Production Design will do.
That's another for Fury Road: it really does look set to sweep the technicals tonight. Fingers crossed. (Also, how good is Junkie XL's score, please?)
There are a lot of walk-and-talks tonight (unfortunately none are scripted by Aaron Sorkin). It's now Margot Robbie and Jared Leto's turn. That's some good genes right there. Time for Makeup and Hairstyling.
That's three on the trot for Mad Max. WHAT A LOVELY DAY.
Benicio Del Toro and Jennifer Garner are here to talk more Best Picture nominees.
"Please welcome nominee Rachel McAdams and should-have-been nominee, Michael B. Jordan," says Rock. Best Cinematography time, people.
CHIVOOOOO. That's The Revenant's first of the night, and Lubezki's third win in a row. Alright for some...
Liev Schreiber and Priyanka Chopra are here for Best Editing. That's Mad Max's for the taking, surely.
Miller's wife Margaret Sixel nailed it. "Charlize! Us Mad Max-ers are doing alright tonight."
We haven't mentioned yet that Flight Of The Valkyries is the play-off music in the technical categories. Joyous stuff.
Angela Bassett is here for some more hi-jinks. The joke’s on Will Smith by the looks of things. Oh, wait: “We simply call him Jack Black” - Black History Month got a new twist there. And we thought that was leading up to Will Smith. You probably need to see that one to get it. There are definitely some fun little asides tonight, though.
Sound time! Black Panther and Captai- sorry, Chadwick Boseman and Chris Evans take to the stage for this duo.
These sound nominee VTs are always so, so great. But there can only be one winner for Editing. And it's a film that's done terribly tonight: Mad Max: Fury Road. Teehee. More importantly, the first F-bomb of the night has been dropped! Whey-ohhhh. You're awesome, Mark Mangini.
And now for Mixing. Which - you don't even need telling. IT'S MAD MAX, YOU GUYS.
Serkis. Andy Flipping Serkis! That intro video was like a tribute to him. Thank you, Academy. What a talent. He’s here talking Best Visual Effects, and boy does he know his stuff.
Hello first actual proper shock of the night! Amazing news for Ex Machina (and another great addition to Vikander's already brilliant night!). "This is so utterly unexpected!" You're telling us. So incredibly deserved, though.
THREEPIO! AND ARTOO! AND BB-8! (Jacob Tremblay is straight out of his seat, bless him.) They're waxing/bleeping lyrical about John Williams and his 50th Oscar nomination tonight. "No wonder he has a good seat."
So this is happening with Chris Rock right now: “I have missed most of Girl Scout cookie season… I want you to reach into your millionaire pockets and buy my daughters’ cookies. Leo, you made $30 million. Come on." A bit like Ellen's pizza moment, if you will.
Love them or hate them, those pesky Minions are here to announce Best Animated Short. And the winner is: Bear Story! (Which delivers the first proper welling-up faces of the night. This is Chile's first ever Oscar win.)
Cookie watch: Matt Damon is eating cookies.
The Oscars are loving their animation action this year. Woody and Buzz are here to celebrate 20 years together. The aliens deliver the golden envelope... Best Animated Feature Film? Inside Out, of course.
Pete Docter: "we are so lucky because we get to make stuff... You can make stuff. Make films, draw, write, it'll make a world of difference."
Jonas Rivera: "best cast ever assembled, animated or otherwise."
Rock: "Please welcome next year's host, Kevin Hart!"
Hart is here to introduce The Weeknd. But first: “I want to take a minute to applaud all of my black actors that weren’t nominated tonight. Let’s continue to do what we do best and work hard. Congratulations for an incredible year."
And this is some sultry Cirque du Soleil-type performance. But we're more fascinated by his hair. (Because it's more interesting than the song.)
Kate 'with awesome reading glasses' Winslet and Reese 'without awesome reading glasses' Witherspoon are here to talk more Best Picture nominees. Guys, go get yourself a drink. It's the halfway mark. You earned it.
Chris Rock is at it again: “I don’t want to just complain. I want to help solve the problem. So I went to my favourite movie theater in Compton.” Cue Rock talking to people outside a cinema in an ‘is it or isn’t it staged’ sketch about people not seeing anything other than Straight Outta Compton.
Random #1: “Tom Hanks? I’ve heard of him.”
Patricia Arquette is here to hand out Best Supporting Actor. COME ON, SLY.
QUIET: IT'S MARK RUFFALO'S 'IT'S TIME' SCENE.
Alright, and we're back in the room.
Wowee, Mark Rylance did it! And he ran straight to Spielberg. Now this is going to be an interesting speech. Here's a bit of it: "for me to have the chance to work with one of the greatest storytellers of our time Steven Spielberg has been just such an honour... I’m so pleased that our film has been nominated so many times... I think if you ever wonder about acting with Tom Hanks, 'would it help?' The answer is ‘yes'... I don’t know how they separate my acting from your acting (the other nominees)… it’s a wonderful time to be an actor."
Louie CK has made his way onstage for Best Documentary Short. And he is giving this category some love. "These people will never be rich as long as they live, so this documentary means something. This Oscar is going to be the nicest thing they ever own in their life." Err, let's see if the winner's speech can top that!
The winner is: A Girl In The River: The Price Of Forgiveness. And its director is rocking the most phenomenal cape.
Hi Daisy Ridley and Dev Patel. They’re here to announce Best Documentary. Which will be going to Amy.
And it does.
Director Asif Kapadia: "This film's all about Amy, showing the world who she really was - not the tabloid persona."
Chris Rock: "It’s time for the biggest moment of the night. We’re about to see how much money we raised selling Girl Scout cookies!”
They allegedly made $65,243. Who knows if this joke will have a pay-off later...
Oscar winner Louis Gossett, Jr. is now here to introduce the In Memoriam as Dave Grohl plays Blackbird.
Wes Craven, Christopher Lee, Omar Sharif, Alan Rickman, James Horner, David Bowie, Vilmos Zsigmond, Leonard Nimoy, and so many, many more. What a year.
Jacob “[Chris] I loved you in Madagascar!” Tremblay and Abraham Attah are presenting. My ovaries can’t take this at 4am.
They’re hosting Best Animated Short. And they get given blocks to stand on, because they’re short. Geddit? FYI, the way Tremblay is pronouncing foreign names during the nominee VT may be THE BEST THING EVER.
And the winner is Stutterer.
Sofia Vergara and Byung-hun Lee are next up, announcing Best Foreign Film. It's Son Of Saul's to lose...
Yep. It didn’t lose.
Joe actual Biden has just taken the stage. (Really.)
Lady Gaga is now here to sing her nominated Best Song from The Hunting Ground. And she's got a huge piano. Huge.
That. Was. BIG. We'll let the performance speak for itself.
Has anyone worked out why that Stacey Dash bit didn't work yet? Answers on a postcard.
Quincy Jones and Pharrell Williams are ready to pass a little golden man over to the winner of Best Original Score. Will Ennio Morricone finally get what is long overdue?
He does indeed. Must try harder, John Williams. (We don't mean it, John, we take it all back!)
Hell of a standing ovation for Mr M. Will Leo's beat that? Stay tuned.
Common and John Legend are back. Will they make us cry again this year? No. Well, not that we know of. They're here to award Best Original Song. What we'd have given to see Anohni and Sumi Jo perform tonight. But let's not get political. OR SHALL WE? (No, let's not.)
"I actually can't breathe right now." Sam Smith won it. Which is quite the shock, let's be fair. "No openly gay man has ever won an Oscar, and if this is the case, and even if it isn't the case, I want to dedicate this to the LGBT community across the world. I stand here as a proud gay man and hope we can all stand here as equals one day." Beautifully put, Sam. (Even if we really, really didn't think you were going to win.)
Sacha Baron Cohen and Olivia Wilde are here. But, erm, it's Ali G...? This is all very confusing at 4:30am. (Think it's something to do with the fact he thinks he's black. Or something.) Anyway, they're here to talk more Best Picture noms.
Drink break! Snack break! Wee break! Dance break!
J.J. Abrams is here to hand out the prize for Best Director. Who's it gonna be, who's it gonna be? We're so emotional at 4:36am that a Miller shock win would have us crawling the walls. But it's got to be for The Revenant.
And it is. That makes Iñárritu the first person to win back-to-back Best Director Oscars in 60 years, fact fans. "I can’t believe this is happening! But it’s much more beautiful for me to share with all the talented cast and colleagues and crew members along the continent that made this film possible. I thank you from my heart. Leo, you were The Revenant: thank you for giving your soul, your heart. Tom Hardy, all the Native American cast: thank you for your trust, your talent. I want to thank Chivo for bringing your light to this journey."
Eddie Redmayne is here to give Brie Larson her Oscar. Oh come on, you know it's going to happen.
YES, BRIE. Sorry, there seem to be MORE CAPITALS THE LATER IT GETS TONIGHT. But they're truly warranted here. We can only imagine how much lil Tremblay's heart is swelling right now.
“Oh wow…!!” She is just darling.
TWO AWARDS LEFT. It's about to be Leo time. It's about to happen, you guys. Julianne Moore is here to make Leonardo DiCaprio's (and our) dreams come true. Bear with us on this one. We may be weeping for some time…
We're not getting into the nitty gritty of that speech. If you don't seek it out yourself, quite frankly you don't deserve Leo.
Annnnnnnd Spotlight. Spotlight, Spotlight, Spotlight. That's your Best Picture, ladies and gentlemen! And just look at how happy little Mark Ruffalo is. Everyone likes a happy Ruffalo.
"This has been an amazing experience. Buy some Girl Scout cookies, black lives matter, thank you!" That's your host Chris Rock over and out. And this is your slightly delirious Empire host also over and out.
Same time next year? Oh, if you insist.