Anyone who’s seen the Crank movies, Snatch or Lock, Stock will tell you that Jason Statham is a very funny human being, despite the typically taciturn video interviews he’s occasionally forced to do. So when Paul Feig’s espionage-themed comedy Spy shows just how silly “the Stath” can be when he wants to be, it’s time to revisit the funniest moments from his career outside cinema, just to remind unbelievers that secretly, all this time, he’s been one of the best comedians in the business.
1. Advert: Jason Statham Beats People Up With The Power Of Downton Abbey
Comcast Xfinity wanted to show the world how their streaming service can be used anywhere, so they hired Jason Statham to beat people up on a plane as he watches Downton Abbey on his iPad. Job done.
2. Advert: Jason Statham Travels Through Time Driving Cars
When he’s not deflecting rocket-propelled grenades with tea trays – or not, as the final cut of the first movie seemed to indicate – The Transporter is normally found inside an Audi, driving around, transporting things. So what happens if you put him in cars that aren’t Audis, and in different eras, for some reason? The answer: this.
3. Advert: Jason Statham Reminds You That You Are Not A Salmon
There has been no finer Kit Kat advert, before or since. All right, that panda one from the ‘80s is okay.
4. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Breaks A Russian Metal Detector
When The Stath does Russian chat shows, the language barrier can be a problem. This is why a little bit of weaponry-based panto can go a long way...
5. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Arm Wrestles Jimmy Fallon
It’s not about the actual arm wrestle, it’s about the arm wrestle insults. “After I win, I’m going to start a kickstarter to make a Gilmore Girls movie.” Over The Top would have been so much better if it had featured more smack talk like this.
6. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Reads Oprah's "Favorite Things" With Jimmy Fallon
Other things on Oprah’s list of her favourite, um, things: Kit Kats, the Transporter film franchise, bald martial artists.
7. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Has A Water War With Jimmy Fallon
Seeing The Stath soaked with water is funny, sure, but the childish giggles are what make this clip. That and the gargantuan Super Soaker.
8. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Has A Hamster Ball Race With Jimmy Fallon
If you stick Jason Statham and Jimmy Fallon in Zorbs and ask them to race each other, there can only be one winner: everyone! No, wait, it’s the man dancing in a panda suit for no discernible reason. He’s definitely the winner.
9. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Plays "Slapjack" With Jimmy Fallon
Forget arm wrestles, forget water wars, forget hamster ball races: clobbering people about the head with massive fake hands as a punishment for losing blackjack is how the men work out they aren’t boys these days.
10. Chat Show Skit: Jason Statham Punches Jimmy Kimmel
Jason Statham talking about fighting Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious 7: “It’s totally ridiculous. It’s the stupidest thing you could ever do.” Less than two minutes later: Jimmy Kimmel gets a knuckle sandwich.
Bonus clip: Jason Statham Doesn’t Actually Appear On Chatroulette
Using recycled footage of Jason Statham talking to a webcam from elsewhere, YouTube prankster Mr Jilbertoo made a number of Russian chatrouletters LOSE THEIR MINDS with excitement. Are they really talking to Jason Statham? No. Do they realise they’re not actually talking to Jason Statham? Often, no. Does it matter that Jason Statham wasn’t actually involved in this gag? Yes, so really it shouldn’t be on this list. Plus, the audio is terrible. Still, you may well laugh.