Ever noticed how Harry Potter is always fainting? Of course you have - because he genuinely can't stop fainting. It's only in the later films that he manages to stop rolling on the floor and blanking out, hitting the concrete in Philosopher's Stone, Azkaban (three times) and Goblet Of Fire. Fans of the books will note that he does it even more in the novels, notably coming over all peaky twice in Chamber of Secrets, something handily removed from the film adaptation. So to celebrate his floor-loving ways, here's our step by step guide to getting all woozy with the boy wizard.
Step 1: Complete the tasks required (subdue a three-headed dog, dodge a deadly plant, evade flying keys, win a giant chess match) to get this film’s MacGuffin (The Philosopher’s Stone).
Step 2: After acquiring this film’s MacGuffin (by looking into Mirror of Erised), defeat this film’s baddo (Professor Quirrell) through magical means (your mere touch should do the trick).
Step 3**: Look frightened as what remains of the baddo (the spirit of Voldemort) charges at you.
*Step 4: Stumble backwards as baddo attacks. Step 5: Hit floor, turn face to camera. Step 6:* The money shot.
Step 1: Observe darkness enclosing, moody music and the Jack-Frost-ification (our term) of any nearby glass.
Step 2: Push body into train seat as spooky death-like hand pulls open door, begins sucking your face off. In a manner of speaking.
Step 3: Contort face as whispy lines of make-up fly off and towards the baddo’s creepy mouth-hole.
Step 4: Wait for sleeping man (and your new teacher / best friend of deceased father) to save the day with a Patronus Charm in the nick of time.
Step 5: Collapse into a heap.
Step 6: The money shot.
Step 1: Go for a private training session with your new best pal / Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher Remus Lupin in his study.
Step 2: Receive cursory guidance as to how to perform your own Patronus Charm.
Step 3: Let your teacher reveal the stuff of your nightmares from the box in front of you.
Step 4: Whip out wand, waggle in Dementor’s general direction, fail to produce Patronus charm. Generally fail all round.
Step 5: As the screen begins to fade to black… look to the ground, begin to collapse.
Step 6: Await revival from new best pal / Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher.
Step 1: Run down to the water to save your near-dead Godfather from those evil nasty Dementors.
Step 2: Attempt to create your own Patronus Charm to ward off said nasties.
Step 3: Continue Step 2 until you get all tired out and fail to get rid of the buggers.
Step 4: Have face’s make-up pulled off once more.
Step 5: After being released from the Dementors’ grasp, notice successful Stag-like Patronus over the other side of the lake that promptly rids the surrounding area of Dementors.
Step 6: Collapse into typical Harry Potter-shaped heap.
Step 1: Lose friends in the middle of a Death Eater attack.
Step 2: Run about like a headless chicken, darting around equally scared witches and wizards while fireballs stream across the sky and across your path.
Step 3: Stare nervously at the nowhere in particular.
Step 4: Ostensibly, trip up and roll onto the floor.
*Step 5: Get hit by something. It could be someone kicking you in the head, but it’s so blurry it could be anything.
**Step 6:* The money shot.