Classic Scene #18: Roxanne

Image for Classic Scene #18: Roxanne

C.D.: All right, all right, 20 something betters. Uh, here goes. Uh, start with, uh, Obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: Everybody take cover! She's going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you worse something larger - like Wyoming. Personal: Well here we are - just the three of us. Punctual: All right Delman, your nose was on time, but you were 15 minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh! To be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you; sneeze and it's Goodbye Seattle! Commercial: Hi! I'm Ed Shive and I can paint that for $39.95. Polite: Uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic, everybody: (The crowd sings at his cue) "He's got the whole world in his nose". Sympathetic: Awww, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Hey, did that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: Huh! I'd hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiring: When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: Say, zee pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave. Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once. How many is that? (he is answered - inaccurately - "14 chief!".) All right, all right! Religious: The Lord giveth, and he just kept on giving, didn't he? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? (The crowd shouts "16!") Uh, Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine! ("17!") Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee - in Brazil. ("18!") Appreciative: Ooooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped. ("19!") All right, uh. All right. (To Boor) Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick would it?

Boor: You smart-ass sonofabtich.

C.D.: You flat-faced, flat-nosed flat-head. (Turning his back, C.D. blocks a punch and thumps the dude without a glance.) Has he fallen yet? (Walks out to laughter and massive applause.)