Classic Scene #5: Good Morning Vietnam

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Gooood Morning Vi-et naaaaaam! Hey, this is not a test, this is rock and roll. Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ. Is that me or does that sound like an Elvis Presley movie? Viva Da Nang, (sings) Oh Viva Da Nang, Dan Nang me, Da Nang me, went out to get a rope and hang me... Hey, is it a little too early for being that loud? Hey! Too late! It's oh six hundred. What’s the oh stand for? Oh my God it's early! Speaking of early, how about that Cro-Magnon Marty Dreiwitz? Thank you Marty for "silky smooth sound", make me sound like Peggy Lee... Rock and Roll! Freddie and The Dreamers. Warrrahwahhr... The wronnng spreeed. Weee’ve got it onnnn the wronnng speed. For those of you who are recovering from a hangover that's going to sound just right. Let's put it right back down again. Let's try it a little bit faster, see if that picks it up a little bit. Let’s get it up on 78. Nerebergerebrrr... those pilots are going IreallylikethemusicIreallylikethemusicIlreallylikethemusic. Oh it’s still a bad song. Hey, wait a minute. Let’s try something. Let’s play it backwards and see if it gets any better. Vovehsnyeveh. Freddie-is-the-devil. Vovehsnyeveh. Freddie-is-the-devil. (Gasps!) Uh! Na na na na Na na na na Na na na na. Picture a man going on a journey beyond sight and sound. He's left Crete. He’s entered… the Demilitarized Zone. Aaaaah! De de la, de de la boom. All right! Hey, what is this Demilitarized Zone? What do they mean Police Action? Sounds like a couple of cops in Brooklyn going "Uh, she looks pretty to me". Hey, whatever it is I like it because it gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino. What is a Demilitarized Zone. Sounds like something out of The Wizard of Oz. Ohhh nooo! Don’t go in there! (Sings) Oh Hey Ho Ho Chi Minh. Ohhh look! You’ve landed in Saigon. You’re among the little people now. (Sings) We represent the RVN Army, the RVN Army. Oh no! Follow the Ho Chi Minh Trail! Follow the Ho Chi Minh Trail! Oh I’ll get you my pretty! Oh my God it’s the Wicked Witch of the North! Its Hanoi Hannah! Now little G.I. You and your little to-do too! Ah-hahahahahaha. Oh Adrian. A-dri-an. What're you doing Adrian? Oh, Hannah, you slut! You’ve been down on everything but the Titanic. Stop it right now... hey, uh, hi, can you help me? What's your name? My name’s Roosevelt Lee Roosevelt. Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in? I’m stationed in Poon Tang. Well that you, Roosevelt. What’s the weather like out there? It’s hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hot as it is, is my shorts I can cook things in it, a little crotch-pot cookin’. Well can you tell me what it feels like? Fool! Why it’s hot I told you again. Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! I said it’s so damn hot I saw these little guys in the orange grove burst into flames, it’s that hot, you know what I'm talking about? What do you think its going to be like tonight? It’s going to be hot and et. That’s nice if you’re with a lady, but it ain’t no good if you're in the jungle. Thank you Roosevelt. Here's a song coming your way right now. Nowhere To Run To by Martha And The Vandellas. Yes! Hey, you know what I mean! (starts the record.)

(Off mic to his assistant) Whew! Too much?