More often than not, a good movie is accompanied by a good trailer, and as the hype machines gear up for each and every release, the brief teasers of footage can be almost as exciting as the films themselves for die-hard cinema buffs. In some cases, they’re better than the film, which turns out to be 90 minutes too long. So as good ol’ 2010 draws to a close, we took a look at the past twelve months’ trailers, both for movies gone and yet to be released, and evaluate them in the only way we know how: somewhat sarcastically.
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The Social Network Teaser Trailer
Landing two weeks after its footage-free little brother, the first full Social Network trailer arrived in everyone's Facebook inbox like a movie-based Trojan horse, and, continuing this stretched series of technological references, infected everyone's short term memory with a choral version of Radiohead's Creep. Elegantly cut, cleverly balancing shots from Facebook and the film itself, rewatching it now just makes us itch for the DVD release even more. That, and our own Winklevi plushie dolls.
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Thor Teaser Trailer
Comic-Con attendees might recognise some of the footage here, and those of you naughty internet scamps might have seen a pirated version of something like it months ago, but this crisp, clean, 100% legal trailer came as concrete proof that Kenneth Branagh's take on the hammer-swinging big guy is definitely something to look forward to. For the ladies: uber-buff Norse God type. For the men: Natalie Portman looking purty. It's going to be a good summer.
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Black Swan Trailer
When this trailer landed, the internet quickly became very excited about this movie. OK, more excited than they were already. Was it a sudden surge of interest in the performing arts? Did Cheryl Cole mention Black Swan on X Factor? Or was it the brief snippet of Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman kissing / writhing on a bed? Hmm. Tough one. Leaving the smooching aside for a moment, other difficult-to-forget moments include the broken mirror, the digitally-replaced faces, and that broken ballet dancer toy. Just us? Okay, fine.
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True Grit Teaser Trailer
When the teaser trailer arrived, we were so overcome with excitediness our first semi-intelligible response was: "Oh boy Coens oh boy Bridges oh boy!" In fact, though the full trailer emerged just a day later, we're still such big fans of the sharper, shorter, sweeter original - what with its in-time timpani drum gun shots and the reloading revolver titles at the end - that it still gets us very excited… even those of us who've watched the film already. Which is saying something. Somehow.
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Cowboys And Aliens Teaser Trailer
Even before the trailer hit the net, we were pretty much sold on the whole Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford in wide-brimmed hats roaming around the desert kind of thing, but then we remembered it was called Cowboys And Aliens, so it didn't even need them, really. Cowboys. And aliens. Only if it was called And Ninjas And Dinosaurs would we be more excited. Anyway, the trailer: big zappy wrist gun; Craig kicking arse; Ford looking grizzly; Wilde looking pretty; spaceships from space. Sold.
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Inception Trailer
BRAAAAAAAAHM. BRAAAAAAAAAAHM. BRAAAAAAAAAAHM. We're done here.
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Sucker Punch Trailer
Hot girls in short skirts. Led Zeppelin's When The Levee Breaks. Silversun Pickup's Panic Switch. Dragons. Guns. More guns. Explosions. Helicopters. Did we mention the guns? Any red blooded nerd's fantasy writ large on their computer screen, the Sucker Punch trailer smacked the gobs of so many gentlemen film fans there was an almost audible "Wow…" from across the globe as the teaser finished playing. Definitely one to watch again. And again. And, if Zack could have his way, in slo-mo.
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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer
The sign of a good Harry Potter trailer is one that gets even non-fans feeling that unique the-boy-who-lived tingle in their fingertips. Knowing that this was their last hurrah, this double-feature mega-trailer draws on both halves of the last book to get you shaking in your seat (understandable, considering the lack of much real kapow! in the first film), and so the editors crank up Hedwig's Theme to 11, the kaboom to 12, and the lighting strikes to God knows where. A big number, we're saying. Whatever the precise levels of shazam, it's a stunning trailer, and it helped it make Potter 7 Part 1 easily one of the biggest films this year.
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Scott Pilgrim Trailer
8-bit trailers are few and far between these days, and interactive ones about Canadian twenty-somethings having to defeat their new girlfriend's seven evil exes border on the non-existent. Taking the idea of the interactive trailer to its very extreme, nearly everything here is interact-ible with-able, to the point of information overload, but it's got a gamified Edgar Wright in it and Mary Elizabeth Winstead swinging a giant hammer, so we're happy.
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Toy Story 3 Trailer
Day by day, week by week, tiny little snippets of character art filtered through the interwebs and onto the Empireonline homepage, from Lots-o-huggin’ Bear to Mr. Pricklepants, until finally... the trailer arrived – complete with ascot / ass pun, in so doing introducing the movie-going world to a long forgotten form of neckwear. Plus, we learn that Rex is "just some stupid dinosaur from down the street." We’re guessing, anyway.
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Tron: Legacy Trailer
By the third trailer, we'd seen the new light bikes, the new Jeff Bridges (that'll be Clu, then) and hopefully gotten over just how pretty Olivia Wilde looks in a light-up cat suit, so it was the turn of the light jets and light moths to wow and intrigue us - and that they did. There's just something about grabbing what looks like a black stick and suddenly being able to fly about a digital universe that'll always appeal. We're just suckers for it.
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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Trailer
We'd seen the cute little rum-offering introduction from everyone's favourite fella-me-lad not only at Comic-Con, but at Movie-Con as well, but as it's so goshdarn lovely, we weren't surprised to see it again for this, Stranger Tides' first official teaser trailer. Besides Johnny Depp in a tricorne pirate hat, the introduction of more Penelope Cruz into our lives can only be a good thing, and the same goes for the appearance of Lovejoy / Al Swearengen / Ian McShane / Blackbeard, whose effortlessly fantastic voice booms across the two minute treat. Plus, a high level of witticisms from Jack bodes well for next summer's nigh-on guaranteed blockbuster.