The two rubber-suited and not very slaggy northern slags head to London. There, they capture the heart of a concussed businessman (Jerry O'Connell), set new fashions and win the Turner prize.
Northern lasses Sandra (Allen) and Tracey (Thompson), gross in every sense of the word, are in London for a Kilroy-style TV show when they're spotted by billionaire Sean Cooley (O'Connell). Strangely enough, a bump on the head has addled Cooley's senses to the extent that he thinks these obese nymphos are the most beautiful women on the planet and should become supermodels.
Angus Deayton, Dolph Lundgren, Naomi Campbell and Geri Halliwell are among the 'celebs' whose desperate cameos will become embarrassing blots on their CVs. Genuine laughs are as scarce as a salad in San and Tray's daily diet, and the end result makes Sex Lives Of The Potato Men look sophisticated in comparison. The crude fart-and-burp screenplay by William Osborne (who ruined Thunderbirds a couple of months before this) is about as funny as having a greasy cold kebab stuffed down your bum crack.
Viz has been heading down the comedy toilet for years. But that's still no excuse for one of its most popular cartoon strips to be transformed into such an unforgivably awful feature film.