A stash of rare black diamonds attracts the attention of three warring actions: a Chinese undercover agent, a small-time hoodlum and a gang of international terrorists. Who will win the race to the ultimate prize? More importantly, who will look coolest with their shirt off?
Well, it's not as if the star rating wasn't always right there in the title. Jet Li and rapper DMX as a mismatched buddy combo battling a bunch of terrorists? The Academy didn't exactly have this one pencilled in for Oscar night.
Actually, it's not all as awful as you'd expect. DMX is no Eminem in the acting stakes, but he's no Vanilla Ice either. Jet Li's physicality is always a joy, even if his short-sharp technique sits at an awkward opposite to that of the more acrobatic Mark Dacascos in their limp final showdown. And anyone with an aversion to heights ought to shut their eyes for Li's terrific, balcony-by-balcony descent down the outside of a skyscraper.
The action sequences, however, are generally a huge disappointment, with only a daft quad bike chase providing any real stirrings. Talking of which, there's also a godawful lap dance. Gabrielle Union may be gorgeous, but hers is one booty that doesn't appear to know its ass from its... Well, you get the picture.
Predictably average kung fu cobblers.