Battle of the Bulge Review

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Two-and-a-half hours (complete with overture, intermission and play-out music) of WWII megadrama, originally filmed in screen-filling Cinerama.

Henry Fonda is the visionary middle-ranking officer who realises that the krauts aren't whipped yet and deduces that super Nazi Shaw is planning a major Christmas push that could prolong the war until Elvis' appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.

In the hell of battle, as rumbling tanks and pretty explosions consume thousands of extras, Bilko-esque Telly Savalas discovers patriotism and even the Germans realise Shaw is an utter maniac. Huge, eventful and trivial, this is a guilty pleasure for grown-ups who have kept their Airfix soldiers rather than a serious film about an interesting bit of history.