Zathura Review

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We simply can't use the words we'd like to here.


When a console’s days are numbered, the arrival of its successor is inevitably preceded by a drought of quality titles as gamers save their pennies for a new machine. But even in a time when gamers are hungry for new thrills, under no circumstances should you consider wasting cash on this unmitigated horseshit.

Based on the new Jon Favreau flick, Zathura follows the two juvenile heroes and their mechanical pal as they try to find their way home, throwing players into an unimaginative and monotonous action adventure that sticks to the blueprint followed by every other cruddy movie spin-off cranked out by lazy publishers since the dawn of video gaming.

Shocking enemy intelligence, tedious level design and wretched graphics also help make Zathura one of the most offensive games ever released on the PS2 and Xbox, and an experience that’s about as appealing as pubic lice.