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Hail To The Chimp Review

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...But the chimp's sleeping

★★★★

When faced with a primate-based game as lamentable as Hail To The Chimp, it’s hard to resist spanking the monkey to within an inch of its life. Sadly, even a thorough flogging is less than this abomination deserves.

Billing itself as a political parody where a gang of animals seeks to elect a new leader, HTTC boils down to little more than a Mario Party-style hotchpotch of mini games where you gather votes to become the new king of the jungle. However, the fleeting challenges that make up the majority of the game are achingly pathetic: the computer invariably cheats during matches and continually gangs up against human players; AI-controlled characters often get stuck in the scenery and continue to run on the spot until the timer runs out; controlling some of the slow-moving characters is an excruciating chore as they move sooooooo damned slowly; and when collecting items there’s no indication of how many you’ve gathered, making it impossible to gauge if you’re on the road to victory or another crushing defeat.

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